Traumerei
by Tsuki Senichiya
Summary: In an unwanted arranged marriage, Rukia is suddenly thrust into a fairytale-like life and must learn to love her king, a mysterious, hated man who never leaves his castle. She gradually grows closer to him, but can he do the same? Renji x Rukia, AU
1. Our Bride

_**Tsuki:**_

_Readers, here is my new fanfiction, like I promised!_

_It's an **AU**, just so you all know, and told from Rukia's POV._

_I hope you all enjoy this one, and **remember to review**, please!_

**PREFERRED MUSIC: **_Goodbye to You by Michelle Branch_

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**'Our Bride'**

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I have always been a pretty girl.

And I do not say that in a boastful manner; in truth, I have loathed my beauty since the day my marriage was arranged by my father.

Sickening, indeed, to know he had decided my future when I was a mere child of six years old.

I hated _him_, and I hated my mother, my sister, my friends.

E_veryone_ was an enemy during that chaotic time.

"How could you do this me, father?" I remember crying, tears streaming endlessly down my cheeks. "I don't want to marry to a man like that!"

"Rukia," He whispered, softly in an attempt to temper my rage. "My child, you will not marry until you are nineteen. So don't fret over it now."

Gritted teeth sank into my bottom lip painfully as Hisana, my sister of twelve back then, held onto my hand for support. I glared at father, and then at her.

"Let go, Hisana."

"You calm down first. And I'm trying to be helpful, Rukia. Just listen to what father has to say."

"I don't want to listen!" I screamed and slapped her hand away, running to the door. "I hate you all! I hope you all die!"

The door shut with a heavy bang.

After that nuisance, I walked down the lonely streets of Rukongai, pondering about my fate. Honestly, I was not satisfied with my behavior that day, and tried to find away to atone for everything.

Nothing really came to mind, unfortunately.

With my legs dangling down the balcony of a building miles away from home, I gazed into the sunset through teary eyes and thought about my family.

Father was not a happy man, truth be told. Life for him had long been thorny as a poor artist, and it became even more difficult when mother passed away.

I don't remember her, for she died seven months after my birth. But Hisana remembered her, and missed her greatly.

From her own testimonies, mother was a kind, gifted, and beautiful woman—the daughter of Rukongai 3rd District's governor. I had received my beauty from her, and for a while I, shamefully, hated her a bit for the cursed inheritance.

Hisana was born with a gorgeous face, too, and her marriage was also arranged early. Luckily for her, Hisana's future husband was someone she loved, even as a child.

His name was Byakuya, grandson of Sereitei's governor, so his family was undoubtedly wealthy and respected.

Hisana matched the profile of an ideal wife, unlike myself. Therefore, I questioned the reason my father betrothed me to the man I was to marry.

From what I knew, he was the only son of Hueco Mundo's king, and three years my senior.

The boy's father died from an accident, and everything was immediately granted to him: prosperity, land, the castle of Las Noches, as well as the colossal responsibility of kingship.

I understood that it was immensely difficult to rule over such a vast land like Hueco Mundo, despite its sparse population, and rumors spread that the young king never left his quarters from all the work he had to finish.

He would have gotten some sympathy, if not for the other tale that stated he was the spawn of the devil.

The people of Rukongai never fancied evil creatures, so everyone I knew naturally hated him, as did I.

I detested this king, whoever he may have been, and smirked whenever someone trashed his name through the mud. My loathing grew when father told me the horrible news of my engagement, for he was the only one who did not despise the boy.

It was strange to think how the one you have hated since the beginning of time could one day be your life partner.

I, of course, thought it was utterly brainless and vicious of him to do that, and did not forgive him for thirteen years, much to my sorrow.

My nineteenth birthday eventually arrived, and I woke up at dawn so Hisana could dress me into the garment that was given to me from the king.

It was a lovely opalescent silk dress decorated with tiny pearls at the collar. A slit was cut through to reveal my bare legs, and my hair beautified with jewels along with a silken, opaque veil.

While Hisana applied red paint to my lips, I sat and stood blankly across the room, a bit regretful. I did not know what to do that day, considering that I would be wed in a few hours. My heart pounded, tears were forced back, and I wanted so much to rip the flesh off my face. I didn't do that, but I cried, instead.

Sniffling, I asked Hisana, "Why did father choose me? Why would God do this to me?"

"Rukia, my lovely sister, I am sure it is all for the best." She replied with a smile. "I have never trusted the wicked gossip the townspeople spread. Perhaps, this king is different from what they say."

"And what if he isn't?" I brushed my hand across my cheek, wetting my palm with salty tears.

"What if he truly is the devil's child? Oh, Hisana, I know nothing about him or his father. I know nothing of Hueco Mundo and its people! I will die there!"

Hisana held me in her arms before I could continue my cries, and she shushed me gently like a mother comforting her child.

"Rukia, try not to think of anymore 'what ifs'. I do not believe that father would blindly marry us off to any rich man who asks for our hand. He does not do if for money, but because he loves us, and you know it."

"B-but, w-what will happen if I-I hate this man too much…?"

Hisana caressed my hand and replied, "You will learn to love him, because no matter what anybody says about him, this man has a heart, and he will love you as well. It only takes time, but your feelings shall ultimately blossom into adoration. This I promise you."

Taking my sister's words to heart, I endured the hammering feelings of anger, and stepped out into the night of Rukongai.

It was a clear evening, with twinkling stars that seemed to somehow wink at me. As crazy as it may sound, it gave me true hope.

Father stood by me along with Hisana and my companions, all waiting for Hueco Mundo's escorts to appear.

I looked to my left, and saw Kurosaki Ichigo smile in my direction. He was my childhood friend, and a boy I had once hoped to marry. Walking towards me, he handed me a single stem of a bellflower. His handsome smile calmed my nerves greatly, and I smiled back blushingly.

"Congratulations," he said to me.

"Thank you, Ichigo."

"So…I…" He stared down at the floor. "I can't believe you're actually getting married tonight, and to a man you barely know."

"Yes, I have been quite worried about that."

"Will you be alright?"

"Of course, there is no need to be concerned for me. After all, I will be queen of a powerful land soon."

Ichigo chuckled lightly, and extended his arms out in an embrace. I gasped when his hands were wrapped about my shoulders, but felt the flow of a young love in my blood. Yes, I loved him so much, and it hurt to be separated from the one I truly, passionately admired.

I kindly pushed him away so father would not get suspicious of our actions, and mistake it for a lovers' embrace, even though it was one.

"Rukia," Ichigo said to me. "You look absolutely stunning."

"Truly? You've never once uttered anything like that before."

"Well, I mean it now. You are…I mean…I…"

I beamed at his stutters and held my hand to his lips in an apparently "friendly" style. His head tilted closer to mine, almost in a kiss, and I whispered to him, "I love you."

He smiled. "I love you, too, from the moment I laid eyes on you, Rukia. Do you really have to leave?"

My eyes gazed into his affectionate, chocolate orbs, and I could feel the pulses of my heart jumping wildly. My thumb softly brushed his bottom lip.

"I'm sorry, Ichigo. I didn't want to do this. But, we had to say farewell one day."

"Will you miss me?"

"Of course."

"Always?"

"Always…"

Ichigo held my hand for the rest of the time until Hueco Mundo's escorts finally arrived an hour before midnight.

Goodbye was harder than expected.

* * *

Dangling jewels clacked together as I sat stiffly in my litter, carried smoothly across the barren desert by ten of the king's escorts.

From my window, I could see that Hueco Mundo was blanketed by white sand, and dotted with trees in the distance. A crescent moon sat high in the heavens, glowing.

I suppose that land could have been considered beautiful, if I had not been distracted with weeping. My hand clutched at the linen cushion under me, and the steady rocking gradually made me more anxious. I could not understand why I was still nervous; it was already over for me.

But, perhaps, it was because I had a different plan to mind.

And I was _not_ about to marry a stranger.

Yes, it was a last chance of escape.

I knocked on the door of my litter, and an escort instantly came to my aid.

He bowed. "Rukia-sama, how may I assist you?"

I gulped and hid my nervous voice with a demure whisper. "Oh, yes, this rocking has been causing me to feel dizziness. Could we, possibly, stop for a minute so I may breathe some of Hueco Mundo's fresh air?"

"Absolutely, Rukia-sama." The escort motioned for the rest of the men to set down the litter. "Our queen needs air, men! Quickly, let her rest!"

They complied, and I was let out, relieved. I took off my shoes, throwing them aside when no one was watching.

The grains of sand felt frigid against my feet, but I decided it was nothing to be concerned about.

The sense of no direction was the one worry that caused my heart to rumble.

I did not know where to run first, but, then again, if I ran in any direction I had to anticipate the dangers of the wilderness. The escorts had taken me to the middle of nowhere, so no lights of a neighboring civilization could guide me into the darkness.

Despite my apprehension, I rolled up my skirt and flung the veil off my head, sending the pearls to the ground.

Once I was certain no eyes were upon me, my feet dashed swiftly across the sand.

I was about a few yards from the litter when one man saw me.

He yelled, "Men, the queen! She-she is running!"

I did not stop, but ran faster, even as they chased me.

"Rukia-sama!"

"Our queen, please stop!"

My breaths froze in the freezing air, and I did not think.

I only ran for the moon.

"Rukia-sama!"

I suddenly experienced a pain in my legs, and a momentary paralysis. They had sunk deep into the sand, and began to descend into the pale depths.

I could not believe my eyes.

"Q-quicksand?!"

My hands tried to dig myself out of the hole, until I realized that I was trapped in an enormous bowl of sinking grains.

I was waist deep under a white sea when the escorts caught up. The horror in their eyes shattered my last bit of hope.

"Christ," One of them whispered. "This is monstrous."

"How will we save her?" Cried another.

"We…we can't…"

The sands had reached all the way up to my chin in a matter of seconds. By then, I was drowning and coughing out dust, my arms attempting to reach for their hands.

But they were forced even further away.

"Rukia-sama!"

The sea ultimately inundated me, and for a while I could not breathe.

Cries of the escorts were barricaded by the shadows, and I looked around in panic.

The area was cloaked in blackness, like that in space, except there were no stars or a scintilla of light.

I could have sworn to see trees, however, and towering figures dressed in black capes with cone-shaped noses. They bellowed deeply, horrifyingly, all while creeping closer to where I lay.

I felt my eyes widen, and a sudden lethargy imprison my petrified body in a coffin created by trepidation.

"Somebody…" I managed to whisper, as the roars continued to thunder.

...

I do not remember much past that; I must have fainted instantly once I caught sight of those creatures.

However, I do recall soft warmth underneath me.

Yes, it was soft...and strangely inviting. I thought I was back home, resting on my bed after a terrifying nightmare.

Of course, those giants plastered in black, those escorts, the sparse Hueco Mundo and quicksand…all of it was false.

That was the lie I wanted to believe.

My eyes opened, and I realized that I was neither at home or in the underground forest.

A crystal chandelier hung high above me, softly illuminating the room with a radiance of ginger. I rose and saw that the windows were covered by translucent curtains, a mirror sat in the corner, and so did the white gown I had worn earlier.

Gasping, I quickly tossed away the covers and shrieked at my nakedness. I held my arms over my breasts, eyes shifting from left to right for any sign of an intruder.

It was seriously startling to have been pulled under an ocean to sinking sand, to sitting in an unknown room exposed and defenseless with the possibility of getting molested, possibly, by an alien.

I wrapped the sheets around me to explore the dimensions of the room, but then saw the hardened blood clotting around my wrist, and a strip of cloth on the carpet that was sodden with red liquid.

I bent down to pick it up until I heard the door creak open.

"Who's there?" I demanded, my fingers rigid with fear.

The door was pushed open further, and, to my surprise, a young girl leaped in.

Her hair was the first feature that caught my attention.

It was pink, like the color of cotton candy, or ribbons, or a stuffed bunny. So were her cheeks, and I unexpectedly imagined a sunrise in a green pasture with fluffy sheep prancing about in the exaggerated backdrop, accompanied by atrocious circus music and bubbles.

_--Ahem_, excuse my moment--

Anyway, I said nothing, but stared ahead into her round, curious eyes.

I could have sworn they sparkled, but it might have been the lighting.

Yes, I was nude, and this was a child in my presence, but she treated my nakedness like she had seen it everyday in her life.

To her, I assumed, it was like looking at the sky; there was a strange aura of maturity around her.

I still spoke nothing and waited, but she didn't any longer.

"Good," she said, grinning. "You're awake."

* * *

_So, how was it?_

_Good, I hope._

_And I hope you enjoyed it while excusing my **horrid sense of humor.**_

_That is, if you caught any..._

_--Cough--_

_I will be working on chapter two, so **please review!**_

_**And review even if you don't like it!**_

_I am willing to grow._

_Merci._

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**_Goodbye to You_**

_Of all the things I believe in  
I just want to get it over with  
tears from behind my eyes  
but I do not cry  
Counting the days that past me by_

_I've been searching deep down in my soul  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old  
Looks like I'm starting all over again  
The last three years were just pretend and I say_

_Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I love  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to_


	2. Ingenue

_**Tsuki:**_

_Here's chapter two, and I have to warn you that there is_

_explicit language as well as the mention of certain body parts._

_Also, the characters are a bit **OOC**._

_Sorry...but enjoy, anyway, and **remember to review!**_

_**I might just upload quicker if I have more.**_

**PREFERRED MUSIC: **_The New Girl in Town _by Brittany Snow

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**'Ingenue'**

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It turned out the young maid's name was Yachiru.

_Yachiru Kusajishi_. Pink haired with pink cheeks.

And she was a feisty, little bitch.

First of all, before you jump to any unwanted conclusions, I just want to state that I would _never_ say anything that blasphemous about a child.

Actually, I love all children. Almost.

But then again, I am not the ideal wife: gentle, calm, and possibly submissive.

No, I am none of that.

But then _again_, Yachiru wasn't a child. She was about a century older than I, and a reputed demon whose ancestors have served the royal family for generations.

Now, when she first told me of her demonic heritage, you could imagine me crawling into a corner, fetal position, crying myself to sleep, and with this childish-looking granny telling me everything was going to be alright as her hand pats my back.

Well, I did do the first thing, but Yachiru instead pounced on me, yanked my hair, and told me to pull my head out of my ass.

"What-what are you doing?" I shrieked, absolutely horrified at her language.

"What am I doing?" She said that rather mockingly.

"I am trying to teach you how to be a queen. But not just a queen, no. You're the queen of Hueco Mundo, the dwelling of all demons, hollows, and arrancars! Why, if you can't take my potty mouth, then you won't be able to handle anything around here!"

"Do you…curse like that in front of your king?" By then I was scared out of my mind.

"No, of course not, I'd get in trouble."

I didn't bother to ask her why she would say such things in front of me; it was pretty clear that I was a mere novice to the royal kingdom and all its complications.

Therefore, I couldn't obtain the respect I wanted until later when I must govern the land. Until then, the servants could insult me as they pleased, and call it "distinctive preparation for _queenship_".

…If '_queenship'_ was a word.

And, yes, I was finally queen. In fact, I found out that I was married while I had been unconscious.

Lovely, isn't it? They even put the ring on my finger.

But that didn't concern me; it was my nakedness that did.

"Kusajishi-san," I whispered. "Who was the one that changed me?"

Yachiru didn't answer, but poured coffee into a mug and swirled it with a spoon.

--Now, before I continue, I would just like to say that little miss Yachiru Kusajishi was one of those girls who had a terrible case of violent mood swings. You're about to witness first-hand what it is like. Don't get me wrong, she can be a sweet, sweet maid, but just know that sweetness most likely will not last for longer than a minute…--

_Begin mood swing_

I was about to speak up when she suddenly glared at me, and slapped my hand.

--Appalling, eh?--

"Don't call me 'Kusajishi-san'! Goodness, way to make me feel older than I already am!"

I gulped.

"You must address me as 'Yachiru' and the rest of the servants by their first names. You don't have to be so polite and use those damn honorifics!"

"Alright…Y-Yachiru, I just wanted to know who undressed me."

"Oh," she handed me the mug of sweet-smelling coffee, a bit soother. "That was your eunuch, Yumichika Ayasegawa."

_End mood swing_

"A-a man!"

"Well, yes, but—hey, calm down!"

"I can't calm down, Yachiru, knowing that a man put his…hands all over me…ugh!"

"Yes, he's a man, but he is also what you call a…" She squinted her eyes. "…An asexual. You do know what a eunuch is, right?"

"Sure," I replied. "They've been castrated—"

"Exactly, so there's nothing to worry about. Oh..." She whispered into my ear.

"If you see any baggage down there in his pants, just know that he stuffs to make up for his missing area."

_'Oh, dear…'_

"I…wouldn't look down at his…manhood."

"Figures," Yachiru beamed. "He's got nothing down there anyway. You wouldn't be pleased."

I almost threw up in my mouth.

* * *

--Las Noches: also known as '_hollow night palace'_--

Now, this castle was easily the most prevalent building in all of Hueco Mundo, and quite possibly larger than Sereitei.

It was one of those clichéd places that you'd find in storybooks: secluded citadel in the dark, mysterious, radiates a ton of intimidating aura, and declared evil by everyone.

That was Las Noches, and '_hollow night palace'_ fit it well.

Titanic? Definitely.

Inviting? Not at all.

Walking down the marble staircase in my new dress, and listening to the loud 'swish' and 'clack' of my jeweled shoes, I concluded that the palace was a graveyard.

Not only was it dim, but empty, too.

A crystalline chandelier was suspended from the ceiling, giving the glossy floor a soft shimmer. Shady corridors were settled on three sides of the hall; mosaic images of tigers, panthers, and jaguars were plastered all over the walls and ceilings.

The chamber was beautiful throughout, and as I continued to probe the area, I saw a massive portrait of a young lass at the end of the first corridor.

From what I could distinguish, she was a human girl with black hair tied into a single bun, quite adorable. Her eyes appeared doleful, demure, and she was smiling. At the bottom of the painting, it was signed with a heart shape and 'Momo'.

_'Is she the king's kin?'_

I sauntered closer to it as Yachiru followed and pulled on my hand, asking "Hey, how do you like Las Noches? I bet there's nothing like this in Rukongai, right?"

I responded with a nod, not really listening to her, but continued gazing intently at the portrait.

It was strange to see something so light and merry sitting in the middle of the darkness, so I said to Yachiru, "Who is this girl?"

"That girl is Hinamori Momo. She used to live here." Yachiru seemed uncomfortable, and stared down at her feet. "She was also the first human I ever met."

"Oh," I replied. "The king's relative?"

"In a way, I guess…"

"What does 'in a way' mean?"

Yachiru sighed and looked up at me in an almost 'you're-going-to-regret-pressing-me-for-information' manner. She muttered, "Our highness' former lover."

I flinched.

No one ever told me anything of the king having a mistress, and I suddenly wondered how intimate the two were together.

There was a fleeting feeling within in me--jealousy, perhaps--and I instantly shook it away. At that point, although I did not feel for the king--much less love him—I could say that I felt a bit sad.

But, like I said, it was a _fleeting_ emotion.

I turned away and ambled back down the hall with Yachiru giggling inanely: another mood swing.

"Awww, don't be jealous, Rukia-sama!" She cried cheerfully without an air of sympathy. "It's alright! Hey, if it makes you feel better, I can tell you that girl is _dead_! Doesn't that make you feel better?"

It didn't, but if Yachiru could rashly state something like that in an attempt to make me drown out my sorrows—well, that was Yachiru.

* * *

The day droned on as Yachiru introduced the castle's staff to me in my own room. By now, I concluded she was the head maid, and had authority over any of the servants and eunuchs. So, here is what I could draw:

* * *

**Kusajishi Yachiru**

_One hundred and nineteen years old..._

_Has the appearance of a doll with the mouth of a construction worker..._

_Head Maid appointed by the former king of Hueco Mundo..._

_Loves the color pink..._

_Pronounces the word_ 'people'_ as_ 'peephole'...

_Will bluntly comment on other people's sex organs..._

* * *

A line of servants with gifts was packed outside the door, and they all rushed in to see me.

Honestly, I was not impressed with the organization of the staff, and I began to wonder where the king was.

A mass of flowers, chocolate boxes, and jewelry was piled on my bed as each servant entered and kissed my hand.

--It was a Hueco Mundo custom, I assumed--

Their praises of _"she's so pretty"_ or _"I love our new queen"_ started to tire me out, but I just sat and smiled.

However, it never hurt so much to keep my eyes open.

"Okay, peephole," Yachiru yelled, with servants still entering. "Just give her your presents and go! Hurry, hurry!"

They did as told, and I watched as a man came up to me and kissed my hand, rubbing it.

I didn't really mind it at first, since my hands were already dripping with saliva and kissed on a thousand times, until he clutched it tightly, and glared into me with violet eyes.

I stared at him, his bob cut, and the ridiculously colored feathers fastened to his head, and I wondered what kind of freak show I now had to put up with.

"Let go," I demanded, a growl under my breath as I felt my bones being compressed.

The man ignored my order and screeched, "Who the hell do you think _you _are? Huh?"

"I beg pardon? I am your queen—"

"I know that," he scoffed. "Ugh, your wrist is drenched in blood. How would the king want to touch you?"

Annoyed by his obduracy, I smacked his hand away and stood up.

By then, Yachiru had noticed and interrupted our little altercation, yelling, "Stop it! Stop it!"

The man stood up after me and pouted. It was awkward to see a man as handsome as him twist his face so horridly into such a feminine frown.

I couldn't help but think of it as comical, and giggle unconsciously.

--Don't misinterpret this; I was still pissed as hell--

"Rukia-sama, my apologies. Yumichika here doesn't know what the hell he's doing—"

"Wait," I cried and stepped closer to the man.

He grimaced, a painfully hilarious pout still on his face. "You're Yumichika? The eunuch?"

"That's right," he replied. His voice was a mix of a Cockney accent and prissy-sissy-whiny squeal, which I also found hilarious.

"I am the _beautiful, gorgeous, fantastic_ Yumichika Ayasegawa, head eunuch of Las Noches Palace."

He performed a hair flip, much to my amusement.

"Some people also call me '_Yume_', because I am something out of a dream, isn't that right, Yachiru?"

The little maid giggled, cupping her hands over her mouth to keep from bursting.

"Tee hee. Yumichika, that's no way to speak to our highness."

"I don't care!" Yumichika glared at me again. "She doesn't deserve our great king. Why, just look at her!"

He pointed his well-manicured finger at me.

"What's wrong with the way I look?" I asked, slightly annoyed by the childish finger pointing.

"I had to undress you this morning, and I am absolutely disgusted by your skinny, unwomanly body. You have the breasts of a man!"

I was tempted to address his absent manhood in revenge, but Yachiru took care of that.

She sighed, smirking at Yumichika. "Yume, just leave. Don't you have a crotch to stuff?"

The man snorted as another pout formed on his lips with brows furrowed. "Yachiru, I may be beautiful, but you shouldn't treat me like a piece of meat."

"Oi, shut up, peacock." A foreign voice interrupted. "And you two, keep it down. I could hear you all the from the king's chambers."

I looked down at Yachiru and Yumichika as they tilted their heads quickly in reverence to the visitor.

My eyes shifted to the door, and I saw that a man stood at the threshold, sapphire eyes glistening cooly.

His light, ice blue wisps of hair stood up like the feathers of a hawk, and his shirt was unbuttoned at the chest, revealing rock-hard pecs. Although there was something indeed frightening about this man, I couldn't say that he was not handsome. Why, my heart must have skipped a couple of beats when he caught my attention.

I blushed when he stepped nearer before me, and dropped to his knees, right hand on his heart.

He took my own hand, which was already limp, and placed a kiss at the fingertips.

"My queen," he whispered. "I am so very glad to meet you. I am Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, the commander of Hueco Mundo's royal guards. Welcome to our beloved land."

I nodded and smiled at him in approval.

"Pleasure to meet you as well, Grimmjow."

I think I might have stopped breathing when his skin brushed across mine.

--And, yes, he was _that_ attractive--

"Nee, Grimmy-chan," Yachiru beamed as he stood. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, other than for the purpose of meeting our lovely, new queen, I came to inform you that the king wishes to accompany Rukia-sama to dinner in his quarters."

"Really? He's finally allowing others into his room?" Yumichika butted in.

"What did I just say, Ayasegawa?"

He gave another pout and shrank back.

"Our highness demands for dinner to be served by nine sharp. Kusajishi…"

Yachiru lifted her head in response.

"Supervise the kitchen staff. Ayasegawa, you will be responsible for Rukia-sama's appearance tonight. Do not complain."

Yumichika rolled his eyes and nodded. "Fine…"

"Alright, then. Both of you get to work."

The two complied and left my chamber while Grimmjow turned to me, smirking enticingly. The atmosphere all of a sudden felt _very_ hot.

He whispered, "My apologies on their behalf, Rukia-sama. Disorder is the common result when Kusajishi and Ayasegawa are put in charge in the king's absence. I pray this incident has not spoiled your impression of Las Noches Palace."

"No," I replied, trying to hide my naive infatuation. "I like it here. I believe I have gotten quite close to the residents of this castle."

"Well, my dear queen." Grimmjow said as he kissed my hand again. " I am glad that you have. Hopefully, we'll become very close, too."

* * *

_So...what did you think?_

_**Please tell me in your reviews, and if you have any ideas for this story, give them to me, as well**._

_I might just consider adding them in 'Traumerei'._

_Oh, and if you're all wondering if I got that "stuff your crotch" line from the Simpsons, I did._

_Yes, I am unoriginal._

_BTW: 'Yume'--dream_

_**Remember: Read and review!**_

* * *

**_The New Girl in Town_**

_Hey look out fot that moving van  
Driving down our streets  
You better lock up your man  
Before he meets  
_

_The New Girl in Town  
Who just came on the scene_

_The New Girl in Town  
Can't be more than Sixteen_

_And she's got a way of makin'  
A boy act like a clown  
Wo-oo,wo-oo,wo-oo,wo-oo  
We don't know what to do  
'Bout the next girl in town  
The New Girl in Town  
_


	3. Vin Rouge

_**Tsuki:**_

_Third chapter of lovely 'Traumerei'!_

_This is a pretty long one, so take your time and enjoy!_

_**Warning**: Dirty language, and **Rukia's virginity is endangered**!_

_Remember to **Read and Review**. You have no idea how much **inspiration and motivation** it gives me to continue!_

**PREFERRED MUSIC:** _Cinderella by Sweetbox_

* * *

XXXXXXXXXX

**'Vin Rouge'**

XXXXXXXXXX

Dear audience, as you have already concluded, I am not a woman of many words.

**Note**: _Inside thoughts do not equal words spilled from my mouth…._

Now, most people will approve of that silent, timid exterior.

They will say it's natural for a lady. They might even consider it 'fit for a queen'.

But I say to hell with that idiotic stereotype!

First of all, if everyone wanted me to be that same woman who rules behind her fat oaf of a king, legs brushed to the side, sitting in a backbreaking posture, watching her husband drool witlessly over her exposed breasts, all while becoming the perpetual object of submission—not love—and must be hauled off to bed every wretched night where she knows he will only rape and snooze, and still planning a suicide that will never happen...

...everyone else can go to hell, as well.

Let me get this very, _very_ straight: I _did not_ want to be queen. I _did not_ want to marry a man I have never met. I have _never_ wished to even set foot on Hueco Mundo. And lastly, I was very, _very_ angry.

If you have ever experienced the sensation to all of a sudden stop what you're doing, get up, and go punch a baby; you most likely understands what it feels to be sitting next to Yumichika.

* * *

**Ayasegawa Yumichika**

_One hundred and thirty-four years old..._

_Head Eunuch inherited from his grandfather..._

_Tends to be loquacious..._

_Keeps his manhood in a pickle jar..._

_Has frequent wet dreams of the king..._

_Wants to be a woman..._

_Has breasts larger than mine (**Warning**: do not picture that)..._

* * *

Alright, I admit it: I made about half of that information up.

Angry? No…I was about to explode.

* * *

"…and he-he has such great, _rippling_ muscles. Oh, they look so wonderful when he's wiping himself after a long—"

"…"

"—hot—"

"…"

"—steamy bath--"

"Yumichika!"

"Ugh, Rukia-sama, may I finish?"

"Listen, I appreciate you trying to keep me company, but all this...talk of your king is making me—"

"Lasciviously prurient?"

"No…"

"Salaciously, passionately, lewd?"

"No…and please, there's no need for you to be verbose in your speech. I can do very well without it."

Yumichika huffed in displeasure as he ruffled my hair. "Well, excuse me for having such good vocabulary, Rukia-sama."

"Yes, yes, impressive. But, I'm very tired and all I want to do is lie on my bed right about now—"

"Lucky you," he interrupted. "You get to sleep with the king. Oh, I want to curl up in his arms, too! I bet they feel big, and warm, and…"

I shuddered at that remark, and sauntered over to the mirror to avoid any more of his lustful praises which, frankly, disgusted me.

The dirndl Yumichika had chosen for me glittered vividly as I slowly twirled around in it, my fingers running down the satin and silk, diaphanous blue blossoms adorning the bottom hem with an embroidery of lovely vines trailing up and over to my waist. It was sleeveless, and I was not pleased with the amount of skin it exposed. The bodice, garnished with thin white ribbons and tiny flowers, was low enough to almost fully reveal my bosom.

I tugged it upwards a little.

"What do you think of this wonderful dress, my queen?" Yumichika giddily asked, his hands rubbing together.

Rather than rebuke him, go through the trouble of changing again, and possibly collapse from exhaustion, I simply nodded.

"It is wonderful," I dryly muttered. "Thank you."

Two maids were waiting to escort me outside, and curtsied politely in my presence.

I moved toward the door, ready to leave, until Yumichika tapped my shoulder.

"Rukia-sama, I have a question to ask of you."

"Yes?" I replied through a half-lidded glance.

"Well, if you're not interested in the king...then may I have him?"

--Okay, let's stop right here for a moment. I know what you're thinking: there's no sane eunuch in the world who would dare try to steal a queen's husband, whether she wants it to happen or not, correct? Well, yes, but who ever said that Yumichika was actually sane?—

I stared at him, stunned and bewildered, but I gave a soft chuckle.

"Yumichika, let's cross that imaginary bridge when we come to it…"

Listening to him fume as I ambled down the hall with the maids, I was no longer sleepy.

* * *

_'He's the devil, he's the devil, he's the devil, he's the devil…'_

That was what I kept repeating to myself, even as my stomach turned and twisted. When I first walked into the King's chamber, I immediately felt an icy gust blow about my skin, as if there was a hidden entity lurking within the shadows. Yet, it was not there.

And as I could see, the maids were a bit frightened.

But, I suppose that is the result when you've been raised in Rukongai, a place surrounded by mortal humans: you begin to grow paranoid of everything, and live in fear of the supernatural forces around us.

The clinking sound of knives and silver forks abruptly clattered together and rang throughout the hollow expanse of the king's dining hall.

Two were on the ground, and one maid bent down to collect them, apologizing to me.

"M-my deepest apologies, R-Rukia-sama."

I smiled at her in pardon, and continued to stare ahead into the obscurity of the vast room.

The dim glow of several candles placed across the lengthy table was so tranquilizing that I almost fell asleep, although my hands were nervously racing back and forth down my thigh.

Eerie tunes of classical music played on an old-fashioned music box, and I was surprised to see a mass of roses and bellflowers strewn on the tiled flooring with Wicca dolls hanging from above.

I then heard a loud 'click' and footsteps as the maids excused themselves, leaving me alone in the dark.

A large door to my farther right opened, and the king finally stepped out.

And I quickly stood up from my chair, bowing with my head tilted before I could even see his face.

I recited what my sister had taught me before my wedding: the 'correct' way to greet a king for the first time.

"May your highness prosper and live l-long for many y-years…" I stuttered and took a breath, then started again. "…May tonight c-connect I, your queen, and you together—"

But before I could finish my speech, I felt the king's fingers lightly cup my chin, and lift my head up to meet him.

The first thing I saw was brown: pleasant, saccharine, like chocolate.

They reminded me so much of Ichigo, but, dare I say, this man was much more attractive.

His scarlet, glossy hair was tied in a loose ponytail, falling freely down his back like a crimson cascade. Black tattoos trailed from his neck downwards and his tanned skin glistened beneath the ruffled, white shirt; clean, black trousers fitted around his long legs.

The king was a bit taller than Grimmjow, but he towered over me, nonetheless.

Smiling, he said, "Let us skip the formal introductions, Rukia. They must bore you."

He kissed my hand—the one thousandth and second kiss that had been placed there that day, I presumed—and proceeded.

"I am Renji Abarai, King of Hueco Mundo. Take a seat, please."

I sat back down compliantly as he made his way to his own chair, grabbing a bottle of wine from the center of the table, and popping the cork off.

I watched him pour a generous amount into a golden goblet then consume it all in three gulps, wiping his mouth with his wrist.

_'This is a king?'_

Irritated by the lack of dining etiquette, I chose to stare down at my meal and pick at it delicately with a fork, my appetite—and fear--depleting with each guzzle from across the table. Occasionally, I would glance up at Renji, and, to my surprise, see him devouring another tall bottle of burgundy wine. His dinner remained untouched, to my surprise again.

And I must say that I was quite taken back by his ravenous intake of alcohol.

No, it did not disgust me: at least he wasn't gulping down his dinner like a wild pig, but just watching King Renji drink and drink and drink….and then take up another bottle…and repeat that…

_--Speechless Moment--_

I mean, he wasn't even actually drinking it, but swallowing it by the mouthful like a whale.

--And, _yes_, I just called him a whale--

Six empty bottles rested on the table beside the crimson-haired man. He held the goblet in his hand, rocking it gently as the cherry liquid shook and waved.

Renji suddenly looked at me, and I then realized I had been staring at him.

However, I couldn't stop staring. This man was the most handsome male I had ever laid eyes on, and his hair was especially intriguing.

No, scratch that; _everything_ was intriguing.

I gazed up to the tribal tattoos jotting up and down his body; from his forehead downward to the exposed chest, and wondered if they trailed any further below his waist.

I quickly stopped, realizing that my mind had traveled too far south, and laid my head down, blushing intensely.

You probably thought I had lost all composure and shame right then and there, but it was unbelievably difficult to sit motionless when the man sitting in front of me had instantly tainted my apparent 'unadulterated' mind with sheer handsomeness.

_'Lord have mercy on my soul,'_ I thought. _'I almost lost my virginity!'_

"Rukia."

My eyes swung upward to catch Renji opening his seventh bottle, his dark orbs focused on me.

I sat straight in my chair, burning cheeks begging to be doused with water.

"Yes…my King?"

He did not say anything initially, but continued his inspection instead while emptying the tall glass container of all its liquor contents.

"My King…did you want to say something?"

"Well," Renji commenced. "Your bodice…it's quite low."

Something in my mind snapped at that point.

Now, I am not the type of girl who wishes to be appreciated and 'respected' for my appearance. Despite that, it was the main factor which shoved me into this marriage.

And the one thing I absolutely hate is being objectified by some rich, sex-crazed bastard who believes women are put on earth for the sole purpose of fulfilling a man's fantasies.

As you could imagine, I became defensive.

"It is low," I sternly grumbled. "And what would you like to do about it, my King? Oh, is my bodice not low enough? Should I arrive to dinner naked next time if that is what will please you?"

Renji simply stared straight at me, and I thought I had given him a good scare with my unwilling, challenging tone.

But, I had actually just made a complete fool of myself.

"No, Rukia-sama. I merely thought that you should pull it up; it does show an undesirable quantity of skin, and that must make you uncomfortable. I apologize if you misinterpreted me."

"…Oh."

_'Damn it!'_

I do not know how long I sat there thrashing myself for my sloppy recklessness, but when I finally decided to break the silence between the king and I, he had already finished his twelfth bottle.

So, in an effort to redeem my poise, I said to him, "My King. Uh…do you…uh…have any interest in…anything?"

He cocked an eyebrow as if I had asked him the silliest question known to man (Or demon) and replied, "May I ask why you wish to know?"

I was taken back, for I did not expect him to answer in a discourteous tone such as that.

"I…uh, am getting acquainted…my King."

"You? Getting acquainted with me? How interesting…"

_'What is wrong with him?'_

"I…don't understand what you mean by that."

Renji leaned back in his seat to sip his wine, and smirked.

"Well, I find it strange because you tried to escape on the night of our marriage in fear of me, and now you're here wanting to gain my goodwill. On top of that, you will act without any thought, which does not benefit you."

He chuckled. "I marvel if all humans are like you. They must be so interesting."

The man was toying with me, I was certain of it. Therefore, I chose to play along, not knowing the trouble I would soon get into.

"No, not all humans are similar to me. In fact, I have begun to wonder about the demons you keep as servants in this castle. Are they just as rude and disrespectful as your majesty, here?"

He placed his goblet down.

"I beg pardon, Rukia-sama? Is that an insult to my fellow kind?"

"I do not mean to insult them; I am merely speaking the truth. Why, the regulation of this palace is unsatisfactory at the most. I suppose demonic order is indeed inferior to human order."

"So, this is what you humans like to do, eh? Gossip and falsely tell tales of others, although you all live in fear of the demon masses that inhabit the many corners of this world."

"My king, I have never once spread a rumor—"

"Don't defend your people, Rukia," Renji interrupted. "I am not an ignorant fool; I have heard everything the humans of Rukongai say about me. They say I am the devil's child, the devil himself, or the son of an evil king surrounded by evil beings who are destined for hell. And, I can only conclude that they are simple-minded fools who do cannot comprehend the truth of my populace, sputtering out nonsense as they go along with their pathetic lives."

I instantaneously shot up, my hands white from gripping the table, and glared at him.

"How dare you offend my homeland! At least my fellow people give respect to me, and don't act like barbarians! Why, you can all go straight down to hell!"

By then, I figured I had gotten off topic—not to mention quite insane-- but I was too agitated to notice, and continued my downpour of aspersions.

"Also, I would like to add that I never wanted to marry someone like you! I never wanted to leave home, and if your escorts had just left me in that forest with those ridiculous, cone-nosed freaks to die, that would be so much better than me sitting here having to deal with your horrible crap!"

I turned to the door to leave, but, just to add more unnecessary animosity, screamed at the top of my lungs.

"I hate you, Renji Abarai. You may be my husband, but I will _never, ever_ love you for as long as I live!"

* * *

Making my way back to the room was the hardest part when all the maids and eunuchs wondered why their queen was in tears. It was even more difficult hearing them whisper of my situation.

"Did the king say something to her?"

"What did they fight about?"

"Oh, poor girl. It's her first night here and she's already crying."

I tried not to look fiercely at them, but summoned all the dignity I had left in me and ambled alone to my bed as the door behind me was locked, and collapsed wearily onto the cushioned mattress.

I let the tears fall freely in despair, cursing the king under gasps and breaths.

I have never hated someone so much, and dug my nails into the pillows at the thought of him insulting Rukongai and all its inhabitants, which included my family, teachers, and friends.

It made my blood rage like fire.

Surely, if someone had walked in then, he would have seen the engorged veins of my forehead ready to pop out.

And in fact, someone did walk in at that moment.

"Queen Rukia," the voice called to me; that familiar, bothersome shrill voice with a hint of reduced masculinity.

Without moving, I said to the intruder, "Leave me alone."

"My Queen, I cannot."

Aggravated by his audacity, I shrieked. "Yumichika! I said to leave me!"

"No, Rukia-sama—"

My hand reached for a cushion across the bed, and tossed it angrily at the eunuch. It landed near the door with a 'thud', and I buried my face down on the blankets to discharge my lungs of every curse and slander I could think of.

Although my words were slurred, they were enough to make Yachiru herself seem like a Saint.

Speaking of the pink-haired little maid, she had also entered my chamber, and began tugging my dress while chirping loudly.

"Rukia-sama, sit up! We need to talk!"

"No, we don't! Both of you, get the hell out!"

"Rukia-sama, if it's the king who did this to you, then I highly recommend for you—"

"I told you, Yachiru, to leave! Damn it, does no one here listen to me?"

My eyes, swollen and dangerously pink, frowned down at the two. They were speechless once noticing it.

I thought for sure they were ready to apologize and cower away, but Yachiru suddenly had the nerve to utter, "Goodness gracious, Rukia-sama. You look like a bloody fish…"

And resembling a watermelon that has been dropped carelessly from the moon, you could envision the explosion and mess I made: chairs flipped back, mirrors shattered, pillows strewn about, and Yachiru hanging from the chandelier.

Now that I think about it, it is spectacular how she was able to scramble up there so quick.

However, it did not fascinate me so much back then when I was too busy trying to deafen and kill my two servants by screaming.

But, indisputably, if I had a microphone, a massacre would have occurred.

Once my voice became tired out and hoarse, I sat back down and cried like a baby, Yumichika patting my shoulder.

I did not fight it, for all the strength I possessed was exhausted in a minute.

Instead, I allowed the bob-haired man to soothe me without lifting a finger in protest.

--And, I must admit, it was quite comforting--

"Rukia-sama," Yumichika whispered. "Would you now like to tell us what happened this evening?"

Sniffling, I nodded, still a bit hesitant.

"Good, then did it have to do with our majesty, the king?"

One nod.

"Did it have to do with maligning one another?"

Another nod.

"So, what would you like to inform us?"

I turned to Yumichika, staring him in the eye, and growled. "Your king is a _prick_."

Truth be told, I did not expect Yumichika to take that answer in a civilized manner, and digest it like how a normal person would do to an opinion.

And, you should not have, either.

The eunuch leaped from the bed and, clutching his face with petrified fingers, bawled, "Hey, shut up! Our king is a sexy man!"

"No, he is an ass!"

"A _sexy_ ass!"

We could have gone all night praising and tarnishing King Renji while trying to keep ourselves from clawing each other's faces in fury, but it was a good thing that Yachiru stepped in before we had the chance.

"Ladies, ladies, please quiet yourselves and sit down," She cried. "I have a solution you two may find reasonable and healthy."

I crossed my arms and complied, as Yumichika remained standing. Yachiru looked at him, and giggled effervescently.

"I said 'ladies', Yume. That would include you."

He scoffed and sat down, the infamous pout plastered on his face.

"Now, I believe the best thing to do is this: Rukia-sama, tomorrow morning the king will be in his quarters relaxing. You will go there to apologize."

"Absolutely not," I refused. "King Renji should come to me and apologize after all he said of my people. Your solution is utterly preposterous."

"Maybe he will," Yachiru frowned. "If you, my queen, say it before. It's not his fault, at first. I blame the _peephole_ of Rukongai and Sereitei for stirring up strife with lies. Demons and humans lived in harmony before these harmful words—"

"Now, that is not true," I protested. "Demons and humans have fought in countless wars since the creation of this world. We have never made peace."

Yumichika barged in at his point. "Yes, but now that we have you as a human bride, peace can finally surface." He grimaced. "However, this dinner did not go very smoothly, so I fear it may not happen."

I gasped and quickly realized the damage I had done.

'_Peace between two species who have battled for millenniums can at last be obtained? With our marriage, every war may end? Why didn't father tell me of this reason? King Renji married me…a human, instead of a demon. A human girl…'_

I unexpectedly thought about that young woman in the painting: Hinamori Momo, and wondered why harmony was not reached with their relationship.

Despite that, I agreed to let myself ask the king for forgiveness, but for the sake of the world, and not because I felt he deserved it.

Strangely enough, as if Yachiru had the power to read my thoughts, she crawled closer to me and murmured in my ear. "I want you to apologize to King Renji, not everyone else for your mistake. I really do think it is hard to put on a façade of such equanimity for someone who doesn't understand him."

"_Façade_? What ever do you mean by that?"

"Rukia-sama," Yachiru scowled, "Our king is habitually a very rash and cocky man. This 'cultured' personality you saw in him was a simple performance. He did it for you."

"Oh, yes," Yumichika purred. "He's a beast in dramatic arts."

"T-truly?" I was shaken by this information, and then thought about those words he spoke to me, and the words he wanted to say, but conscientiously held back for my sake.

Ultimately, it had occurred to me that I had been acting like a babyish, ungrateful brat: everything my father taught me not to become.

Yachiru placed her tiny fingers on my wrist where a new bandage had been wrapped, and said, "I guess I should also tell you the truth about who rescued you from the underground forest."

My heart thumped.

"Was it…King Renji?"

"Of course it was. I wouldn't create so much suspense if it weren't him. And because of that, he was inflicted with poison. So, _please_, don't ever wander blindly out into Hueco Mundo again; it might just kill him. "

"Oh my goodness." I stood up, hands cupped over my lips with widened eyes. "I had no idea…everyone told me he never left his castle."

"He hasn't left for years, that is true," The little maid mumbled. "We've been telling him to get some sunlight or else he'll die early, but we're never very successful. So does it make you feel better that he would do that for you?"

"And...I-I thought it was the escorts…"

"Pfft…" Yumichika snorted. "You may be our queen, but those escorts would never risk their lives for a neophyte such as yourself. Pardon me for my bluntness, Rukia-sama, but that is how we demons function."

Yachiru looked up at me, asking, "Will you give an apology to our beloved king?"

"I shall, I shall. But, I do not know if he will accept it."

"Sure he will. I mean, what the hell have those _peephole_ in Rukongai been saying? You've been completely brainwashed. Oi, you know, if you explore a bit more, then you will see that King Renji is not exactly an 'evil' person."

"Are you two...positive?" I meekly asked.

Yumichika then chimed in, squealing, "Positive! After all, you are his wife, and always will be."

I gave a smile towards the two, feeling much better. And I would have kept smiling if Yumichika had kept his mouth shut.

Unfortunately, that never happened, for the man temerariously said to me,

"Now, go wash yourself, Rukia-sama; it's bad for my health to continue staring at your red and puffy face. Very unattractive."

* * *

_'You are his wife and always will be…'_

_'You are his wife and always will be…'_

_'You are his wife and always will be…'_

Dear audience, as you may have already concluded, this is the worst mistake I have ever made in the history of '_Queen Rukia's List of Mistakes'_.

I don't have a list, but if I did…well, you know…

Anyway, as I lay on my bed, those eight words Yumichika said to me continued to ring in my ears.

Filter out his immensely irritable whine of a voice, and you could say that they gave me a sense of comfort.

'_You are his wife and always will be…'_

Yes, I was his wife, and in order to live my life happily, I must achieve what my sister said I would have to do: learn to love the King despite the difficulty.

Well, King Renji certainly wasn't unattractive, and he was the ruler of a vast land that borders Rukongai.

I decided it was good enough to be here, in this prosperous castle, surrounded by miles of beautiful seas of white sand, and with servants whom I fought with to gain much-needed respect.

And honestly, I appreciated them for that. You could say it gave me room for character development.

For, if I did not make peace with the servants, they would consider me 'true evil', and probably throw me into hell. I mean, they're demons; they have that power.

Then again, if I was thrown into hell, I did not know if Satan himself would take me after witnessing my 'beyond evil' behavior that evening.

Oh, well...

It was good enough, and so I prayed for tomorrow's light to guide me.

* * *

_Wow, what a chapter!_

_Wouldn't you agree?_

_If so, then please **review**! I would really appreciate that!_

_And also, **Go RenRuki!**_

* * *

**_Cinderella_**

_Cinderella are you really that happy  
Cinderella are you really that lucky  
I wanna know is your life like you dreamed_

_Here I am  
Trying to find my way  
I've kissed so many frogs but I've never found a prince  
I think they lied  
I was promised much more than this  
Where's my happy-ever-after?_

_Cinderella is the queen of a kingdom  
Cinderella got the dream she was dreamin'  
I wanna know where is my happy end  
Cinderella got a prince and a kingdom  
Cinderella got the dream she was dreamin'  
I wanna know where is my fairy-tale?_

_Something's wrong  
'cause all my glass shoes break  
And no one's ever helped this damsel in distress  
To hell with this  
I'm not gonna waste more time  
I won't wait to find prince charming_


	4. Little Miss Sunshine

_**TSUKI:**_

_Holy crap...I officially **hate** this chapter._

_But, to be honest, I'd say it's the most interesting one so far._

_So, have fun with your belated Christmas gift, and sorry for the wait._

_Enjoy!_

**PREFERRED MUSIC:** _Rainy Days and Mondays by The Carpenters_

* * *

XXXXXXXXXXX

**'Little Miss Sunshine'**

XXXXXXXXXXX

_Big dreams…_

I used to have big dreams when I was young, just like any irrational, zealous child.

They included owning a unicorn, traveling the globe in a golden chariot, eating cookies on the moon, and—_ironically_—marrying a handsome prince (or King) so I could retire into an outsized castle in the center of a remote, beautiful land.

--Well, that wish came true…--

Father was supportive enough: he said Hisana and I could become anything we wanted if we put our minds to it, only if we pay him back for all his years of raising two children without a wife.

I suppose that is the main reason he sent us to the '**Academy of Philosophical Arts and Sciences'**.

(AKA: "The first five years of childhood hell")

My initial reaction to the school building was a weary, drained sigh-and-groan.

Twisted, insect-infested vines draped themselves about the miserable gray-stoned school, seeping in and out of crevasses like ravenous serpents. Wiry teachers wore rigid buns, black dresses and were frequently armed with hole-filled paddles that cracked like thunder when landing on the inflamed skin of an unfortunate pupil.

Students were not allowed to laugh, chew food with their mouths open, or stare at someone for more than five seconds.

And ever since the law that banned the use of one-syllable words had been passed, teachers have been more anal regarding the undergraduates.

--I shiver just thinking about that vile hell-hole--

However, under all that muddle of backbreaking, mounting struggle, I managed to find a shining beacon who directed me through those years with exceptional patience and empathy: everything I looked for in a mother.

* * *

**Unohana Retsu**

_Deceased..._

_Native of Sereitei..._

_Former physician..._

_Always kept her braid in the front..._

_Counselor of health and philosophy in Rukongai..._

_A true mother figure..._

* * *

Sad to say, Retsu was one of those classic figures who seemed to encompass all the grief and misery existent in the world.

She was a childless widow who, after the death of her husband, left for Rukongai despite having already established a decent reputation as a young doctor in Sereitei.

I remember her once telling me that "Mr. Unohana"--whom she obviously loved with all her heart--was a tall and brusque high-ranking military officer. He died while extinguishing a disastrous uprising in Hueco Mundo twenty years before my birth, leaving Unohana-sensei struggling to recover her life.

It was a shock to me when she first mentioned their marriage; I never expected my serene, soft-spoken teacher to have loved someone like her husband.

In fact, Unohana-sensei did various things that were questionable by the standards of Rukongai.

For example, even though she was about fifty-five years old when we first met, she appeared incredibly, unusually youthful (Naturally, an attribute such as that made her the center of envy at a school surrounded by nothing but stern, vicious hags).

Retsu was also one who never attended any social functions, but regularly settled in her classroom reading piles of books on theology and foreign myths. In most districts, anything that referred to a faith which challenged the customary belief was labeled as "_evil, filthy_ propaganda of the devil."

--You can just taste the hatred and zeal of the people…--

The major reason my fellow neighbors despised her, however, was her controversial opinion on the demonic race.

You see, Sensei did not like conflict, and believed in equality and goodness of all races. She believed that the image of demons was distorted by ignorant humans, and they were not as immoral as we had been told.

As expected, numerous citizens of the district wanted to burn her at the stake—a practice, which, by the way, was vetoed over _eight centuries ago_.

But, alas, they wanted the old torture method restored because she "blasphemed and defecated all over the glory of God with her sinful, Satan-loving feces."

--Well…that did not put a very pleasant image into my head. Plus, I highly doubt that—after seeing all the crazies and fruitcakes in Rukongai—Unohana-sensei would be the one to use the "glory of God" as a public toilet.--

Strangely enough, Sensei merely smiled at their rage, and continued to read those "forbidden books" over tea and apples.

I was confused.

Of course, at age eleven, I simply couldn't comprehend why anyone would support such an unorthodox ideal. I hated demons just like everyone else, but I loved my teacher enough to respect her beliefs.

Not only was Retsu immensely intelligent, but her unparalleled temperament made me feel safe. Sometimes, whenever I was yanked into an argument with father, I would run over to her classroom, and she would offer me the most reassuring advice.

In some cases, Sensei bought me dinner, and allowed me to study with her until evening. I can imagine she became quite annoyed by the frequency of my dilemmas, but she was always loving and tried to help me in the best ways.

--Ah, such a sweet woman…--

Well, I was lucky enough to enroll in her class at the end of my fifth year at the academy. It was smooth sailing from there until graduation where I ranked number three all thanks to Unohana-sensei who, unfortunately, departed to the heavens a month before that day.

And when I stood under those ominous, dreary billows; rain pouring relentlessly, and muddy water seeping into my boots, I couldn't help but weep harshly for the dear lady.

If only Death had not taken her away so soon, I question if the road to marriage would have been smoother. Perhaps, if she lived longer, her aid would have prevented me from injudiciously making many of the mistakes as Queen.

However, I try not to think of what could have been; what happens cannot be changed no matter the weight of one's wishes and suffering. Oh and how I wept to have that fact preying in my mind for years.

'_Perhaps' is painful._

'_Perhaps' damages oneself in an indescribable way._

'_Perhaps'…are thorns to the weakened heart._

* * *

Events at Las Noches did not go accordingly.

Firstly—and I think you have all been waiting anxiously for this—King Renji _did not_ forgive me on the morning I came to ask for his pardon.

…

Yeah, it came as a shock to me, too; I had expected _some_ absolution, for I wore my loveliest Rukongai gown and addressed my husband in such a sugary manner I thought I would puke up a gallon of syrup.

--Well, so much for creating a fake aura of butterflies and sunshine—

I knew King Renji was a man of great intellect before I even met him, and I also knew better than to lie in the presence of a demon. However, my haughtiness overwhelmed logic, and it cost me my tender reputation as his "noble" queen…

…temporarily, of course.

Nevertheless, I became confined in my chambers to avoid further humiliation, and only Yumichika and Yachiru were allowed to serve me (much to my dismay).

I did not mention my husband after that incident, and the two servants were courteous enough to do the same. Because, I will be honest about one thing: it hurt.

It hurt when King Renji refused to look at me, and it hurt when I saw his head wilt slightly while I lied to him.

Most of all, it hurt when he said to me, in that solemn tone, "I do not accept your apology. Now, leave me."

He didn't slap me; that was the good part. Even so, I would have preferred a punch in the face over those words any day.

It was incredibly strange. You might not think it hurt much when I first heard them, but simply listening to the sighs and lows of his voice was a knife to the heart.

Despite the fact that King Renji was a full-grown man, he sounded like a little boy who had just lost his puppy—a child. For a month, those same sounds echoed in my head, and even in my dreams.

…

But, enough with that gloomy atmosphere. Why don't we fast forward to a time where things were just _faintly_ better? A time where…I felt even just a _bit_ of hope despite the circumstances.

* * *

It had been more than a month following the wedding, the wretched dinner, _and_ the wretched morning-after.

I was on a roll: pissing off the king and shaming the entire human race in a court of soul-devouring fiends.

The only good thing that came out of this whole predicament was my relieved fear of demons.

Honestly, now that Yachiru and Yumichika were serving me every day, they didn't seem so horrible. Instead, the two were mainly occupied with trying to make me laugh (Or smile, for that matter--laughing was not my thing).

However, there was still a certain mushroom-headed, transsexual, incubus _moron_ picking at my nerves every step of the way. And, one day, I found him in my bed…

…with an urgent message from a mysterious visitor.

Anyway, I had just woken up, but the eunuch hopped about my room, squealing some gibberish and giggling like a little girl.

"There's a handsome man here! There's a handsome man here!"

Well, it's no surprise Yumichika would get excited by something of that nature. I, on the other hand, had had enough of mingling with attractive men.

'_Another vain, ignorant pig here to kiss my hand,'_ I angrily thought.

But, as much as I wished to stay in bed that day, Yumichika finally convinced me by stealing my blankets.

Therefore, I was forced to amble downstairs in another glitzy, frilly gown that squeezed every particle of oxygen out of me, and waited for the guest to arrive. I plopped myself on a couch in the foyer, staring blankly at the painted ceiling.

The hall was vacant, decorated with only two sofas and four towering vases. It was beautiful, and more ornamented than anything I had ever seen in my life. In fact, the whole palace was a grand, magnificent structure that truly expressed the genius of Demonic architecture.

I wondered why King Renji never set down his pen and just took a simple stroll to marvel at his breathtaking home. Everything was so empty. Why, if their king was nowhere but in his chambers, then the servants did not even bother to set foot in the corridors.

His absence explained the obscurity and I felt so lonely to be waiting in the dark.

But, I shook myself back into reality when I heard footsteps approach.

I brushed my hair gently and cleared my throat, hoping whoever came to visit me would make it quick.

"Rukia-sama," Yumichika advanced, giggling quietly. "I have brought the visitor to you."

I quickly stood up and turned around to see a firm, ebony-haired man wearing a large white _haori, _and two maidens following behind him. He was handsome indeed, but I did not recognize him until I took notice of the _kenseikan _in his hair.

I gasped.

"B-Byakuya…"

I was about to bow down to him until he inclined his head--reminding me that I was no longer a mere citizen of Rukongai. Now, _I_ was his superior.

He looked up at me with murky eyes and lifted himself.

"Good morning, Rukia-sama. Thank you for receiving me."

It felt so strange to have him address me in such a manner. For years, I had been the one to curtsy in his looming presence, but everything changed before I could even ponder about it.

"There's no need to thank me, Byakuya." I replied. "Please, would you like to take a seat?"

"My apologies; I am afraid my visit to Las Noches must be brief."

"Um…is there a problem?"

"No." He reached into his _haori, _and at that point, I shooed Yumichika away once I caught him leering. He left gruffly as Byakuya handed me a white envelope with the Sereitei seal.

I examined it for a moment. "Is this some official business?"

"There is no business for you to concern yourself over. Hisana-san wanted to see you today, but she has been feeling faint and could not come."

My mouth instantly went dry, and I whispered. "My sister…is she hurt?"

"No, Rukia-sama. The letter was written by her, and she wished for me to deliver it to you personally."

I slowly sighed in relief, and giggled at his remark.

'_Oh, Hisana…' _I thought. _'She's so beautiful and clever even the son of a noble would do her dirty work.' _

"Thank you very much, dear Byakuya. I will be sure to write back soon."

"Of course." The man motioned for one of his young servants to come forward, and she handed me a small, but jeweled box.

"The Kuchiki family would like for you to have this gift. Rukia-sama, I am deeply sorry, but I cannot stay here any longer."

Smiling, I said, "It's fine. I should be the one to thank you for traveling across Hueco Mundo. If you must leave now, I'll have someone escort you to the gate. Yumichika."

The eunuch sauntered his way into the hall and motioned for Byakuya to the exit. Before he could follow, I pulled him aside and grumbled, "Don't you _dare_ touch my brother-in-law."

He responded with a giggle and skipped his way out of the foyer.

--Well, that was a quicker meeting than what I wanted.--

Once they were out of sight, I sat back down onto the sofa and pried open the box.

My eyes almost rolled out of their sockets when I saw what Byakuya had given me.

It was a necklace and ring; both were garlanded with tiny jewels and alien metals that were just about as rare as the gods themselves. I was in awe of the nobles' ability to buy these.

If Byakuya's silk scarf was equivalent to the cost of ten houses, then these two pieces of jewelry could buy an entire ocean.

I promised myself to thank them generously for the expensive present, and then opened the envelope.

There was a sheet of fine paper inside, and I recognized the letter to be from Hisana by looking at the excellent penmanship.

It only took me a few minutes to read the entire missive, but the effect her writing had on me lasted throughout the day.

--I mean, my sister…she really knew how to touch a sore spot, and pour salt all over it.

In short, it truly compelled me to reevaluate myself and my behaviors. I can say—even to this day—that it is one of the very few writings to have affected me in such powerful ways.--

Now, I am pretty sure you are all curious to know the contents.

So, please do enjoy.

* * *

_**11/19**_

_My sweet sister Rukia,_

_How have you been this month? I hope your time in Hueco Mundo has brought you some comfort and eased your anxiety. I am sorry I could not see you today, but I have been quite nauseous these past few weeks. Don't worry, though, it's nothing to be feared for._

_By the way, I purposely sent Byakuya to visit you at Las Noches because you two rarely ever speak, and that's no way to continue on as family. I know you've been scared of my husband, but I do hope the both of you will become closer. He's a very charming man._

_And Byakuya, he must be so furious after I sent him across the desert. Oh, but it's so fun to tease him._

_Anyway, Rukia, I've been concerned about your relationship with the king. You have not told me anything about him, and I am wondering every day if he is treating you well. If not, you must notify me. Father is worried to death; he tells me he cannot sleep from the thought of demons constantly surrounding you. I beseech you to write us a letter._

_At least inform us of what the king is like. Is he handsome? Witty? Kind?_

_And, how are the demons in that palace? Are they treating you like a queen?_

_There are many questions I have for you, but I want you to take your time and simply advise us that everything is alright for now._

_On a lighter note, Byakuya and I have some very exciting news. __At first, I thought I was simply experiencing a minor illness, but it turns out that there is absolutely nothing wrong with my health._

_In fact, I am expecting a first child in nine months! I was so happy, and Byakuya beamed in the sweetest way. He'll make a wonderful father, and the baby will be very lucky to know his auntie is a powerful queen._

_And, I understand you might not have much power now, Rukia, but you are definitely able enough to make the king fall madly in love with you. Are you wearing the hemp-made bra I gave you? Or even the satin nightgown?_

_I expect some babies out of your marriage, and they must be born out of love—not of servitude to the state. **Remember that.**_

_So, seduce the king. I dare you—that is, if he isn't beating you around._

_But, I jest; I only want you to be happy. Hopefully, you'll experience the joys of motherhood soon along with your big sister._

_I also visited Rukongai this past weekend. Your old friends—Tatsuki and Ichigo—miss you greatly. The entire Kurosaki family is praying for you, and Isshin wants you to know that you're as precious to him as his own daughters._

_Speaking of Ichigo, I hope you're no longer in love with him. Remind yourself of your status, and don't be distracted by a boy like him. Don't get me wrong, I think he's a very bright and attractive man, but there's nothing in him that should make you falter._

_If you must know, he's also fine. However, there are rumors that hint at a relationship between him and Orihime. You still remember her, right?_

_Well, I don't want to ramble too much. I want to know my baby sister is in good spirits, and it will bring me an abundance of joy to hear from Byakuya and his visit soon._

_Remember; don't let anyone push you down. Be strong, and keep in mind of all the people who love and protect you. Write to us; we're dying to know the details._

_If you ever feel like crying, I'll race over to Hueco Mundo and give you my shoulder. I love you, Rukia. Father loves you, and so does Byakuya. Chin up, okay? We're always here for you._

_Love,_

_Nee-san_

* * *

I had been introduced to a stunning, enchanting garden in the south tower by Yachiru. Supposedly, King Renji had it specially built for his new bride—before he knew what she was truly like, of course.

It rose about 350 feet up in the air and allowed for me to gaze upon miles of solemn white sand.

Exotic trees reached toward the sky and clusters of flowers gave a constant aroma of sweet, honey-like scent.

For the past week, I made it my home. Yachiru would set up a table for me, and I'd sip milk while admiring the view. It was hard to believe all of it was mine; I had never experienced such luxury as a girl.

But, as queen, I was granted everything a lady ever dreamed of: servants, a castle, money, gorgeous dresses, and a handsome husband.

_Yet_, I treated all of it like dirt. If Hisana was really there, she would have slapped me for my pettiness.

And, she was completely right about everything: I had been unfocused, and it made me waver.

I tried not to think about the letter she wrote to me, but I couldn't; my mind would always turn back to her words, giving me a huge beating to the heart.

So, after an hour of sitting and staring, I finally broke down.

Resting against the stonework, I felt huge crocodile tears stream down my eyes, and hands quivering uncontrollably. My head was buried beneath my arms; my voice echoing somberly throughout the garden. The anger at everyone—and at myself—could not be contrived.

This was me: an ungrateful, disgusting little girl who couldn't keep it together, not even her own clothing. I had torn off my jewels and the lace from the dress out of fury, and hurled them across the cool, mosaic flooring. Tears continued to well up in my eyes as I discharged a month-long's worth of bawling.

I cried for three minutes, before someone approached.

"_Rukia-sama_?"

A gasp tore from my throat, but I did not look up.

"Rukia-sama…"

It was a gruff, hoarse voice, and I immediately knew it was neither Yachiru nor Yumichika who intruded my time of struggle. Part of me did not want myself to emerge from my position—I was a mess, after all.

However, I eventually lifted my head out of curiosity and found a pair of bright, azure eyes staring at me.

'_Oh…my god…'_

It was Grimmjow, and he offered me his hand.

"My queen," he whispered, pulling me to my feet and setting me down on a stone bench. "Are you feeling ill? Why are you sobbing in here?"

I bit my lip as I peered into his lovely, strapping countenance.

Through teary eyes, I could perceive the man's blue, wispy hair. It sloped downward and was dripping. Perhaps he had just taken a shower.

He was not wearing the Hueco Mundo officer's uniform like I had seen my first evening here, but a casual ruffled shirt and pants, instead. And, a pleasant, fresh scent rose from his body as he gave me a handkerchief to dry my eyes.

I gladly took the light lavender cloth, dabbing my cheeks softly.

"Thank you, G-Grimmjow."

"Of course, my lady." He placed his hand over my shoulder. "Rukia-sama, you do not have to feel uncomfortable around me. If you feel you must continue crying, then you are free to do so. However, I wish to know if there is anything I may carry out to help you."

"Oh, no…" I lied. "I j-just don't feel too well today. But, thank you; it is very kind of you to offer."

I continued to sniffle.

And he did not leave.

…

Good; I _really _did not want him to go. Many servants would have left me to cry, but Grimmjow—thankfully—followed his good senses and stayed with me.

"Rukia-sama, pardon my intrusion, but I cannot help but wonder if this weeping is caused by our king."

I faced him in shock, and did not say a word. It seemed that everyone now knew of our quarrel.

"Uh…well…"I managed to mumble, not sure how to respond.

"My apologies, but everyone has found out already. News travels quickly at the palace."

"You don't have to apologize. I expected the demons to have known." I then looked at the man. "By the way, where did you come from? Do you tend the gardens in your spare time?"

Grimmjow chuckled, and I felt a bit like smiling when he did. "No, my quarters are located in this tower. I was looking to take a rest, but it's hard to do that when a beautiful girl like you is weeping in such pain."

I responded blushingly, "Oh, I-I'm sorry, then. I didn't mean to trouble you…"

"Rukia-sama, you are too kind. As long as you are unhappy, then I cannot rest until you feel better."

"_Kind_?" I asked meekly. "I am…not…" Sighing, I tried again. "I'm not a decent person. After everything that I've done at Las Noches, I am very far from even being agreeable."

"That's not true at all; you misconstrue. You were scared your first evening here, and wanted to defend yourself. Coming from such a conservative place such as Rukongai, I can understand your fear."

He persisted, saying, "Genuinely, King Renji is not a bad man; I have known him for years. And—"

"I know that, Grimmjow." I quickly interrupted, much to his surprise. "I know what he did to save me on our wedding night. I know that instead of enjoying a grand ceremony like he wanted with his wife, he had to tend to himself because he was poisoned. Yachiru has told me everything; _I_ am the enemy, and I know that I do not deserve to be in his favor."

"I would never think that about you, my queen. No one would. And, it is not your fault for what happened that evening."

"Then, surely it is my fault when I first met him." I snapped. "He invited me to dine with him, and I had to ruin everything again."

By this time, my hands were clutching tightly at the hem of my dress, and blood was being drawn from my bitten lips.

"He has every right to be angry at me. If you ever get the chance to see him, tell him that he may discard me and choose a new wife. _Surely_..." I paused and sniffled again. "...that new woman will not be a heartless monster."

He rose quickly, his hand tightened. "No, our king would never do such a thing to you. You are his wife, and he—"

"Oh, _god_, don't say that!"

I bent my head down as water began to fill my eyes once more. "P-Please, every time someone mentions me as h-his wife, I-I cannot stand it!"

I lost control over myself at that point.

"My queen, he does not—"

"Grimmjow, he _hates_ me! "I cried hotly as tears began to burn. "I will not survive here as long as he harbors that emotion! I wanted his forgiveness, but the king will not even look at me! And, he thinks I am a piece of garbage!"

He fell silent.

I, on the other had, opened the floodgates.

"I feel like my heart will burst each time his name is brought up. I-I hate him so much, but I know it is _I_ who cursed our marriage from the start. Oh, God---_I do not care_! Ever since my god-forsaken father married me off, nothing has ever made me happy! Nothing good was ever given to me! And, my sister—who has _always _had everything she wanted—managed to marry a man she has loved since the beginning of time—oh, God!—and those vile people had the nerve to tell me they loved me when _they_ were the ones who sent me here all by my lonesome! She has a baby now; I have always been denied the chance for happiness, and it was served on a silver fucking plate to her! She has done _nothing_ to deserve it; it is not fair! I cannot stay here as long as I am a human!"

I glared at Grimmjow's expressionless, patient face, and growled. "Your _bastard _of a king only wanted me for my beauty, which I spit on—and he still loves that _dead, human bitch_! How dare he hang her portrait in my hall, reminding me day after day that I am only second to her! I will always be the 'other woman', and he throws it right in my face—oh God!—_past bearing_! Just kill me now!!"

I immediately flung myself to the floor right after that quick little session of yelling.

It was swift, but the silence that followed was long.

I could not believe I had spilled everything out like a madwoman in a matter of seconds._ Everything_—my pain, burdens, and weights—was flushed out, and it didn't feel right at that time.

I waited for Grimmjow to respond—if he wasn't scared away, yet—but he said nothing. Instead, a hand forcefully grabbed my elbow and lifted me from the floor.

He clenched my own hand to the point of extreme pain, and glared into my eyes.

Grimmjow, angrily, whispered, "Don't you _dare_ say such things to my king. Especially, something that lowers him so horribly. If you insult him in my presence again, I shall have you whipped until you weep blood."

…

I shook when he said those words to me.

...

Oh, it was more painful than him crushing my hand, and much more painful than anything Hisana ever said to me.

I could not breathe for a moment as Grimmjow glowered at me, but I began to weep again.

There was no use to hold it in; I was so broken, and in so much regret that I wanted to scream my lungs out.

I wished I had never said anything.

I wished that I had never come to the garden.

And, I _wished_ I had never met Grimmjow.

But, even as I prayed for everything around me to disappear, I suddenly felt warmth creeping into my veins again. Strong arms enveloped me, like a mother's touch I had never known before.

Grimmjow…his eyes softened, and, at first, I wondered why he looked like a gloomy puppy.

However, before I could ponder that question, my head was buried in his chest, and his arms were wrapped around my waist.

I quivered, as he did the same.

He breathed into my hair, saying in a doleful tone, "I…I'm so sorry, _Rukia_."

I suddenly felt my lips curving into a weak smile, and the slowly tears receding.

Grimmjow—and for _once_ in this palace, someone called me by my name.

"_Rukia_."

There was no honorific to follow after. He did not address me like a queen, or as a superior—but as a human; as his true, real companion.

And, I liked it.

My arms encompassed his shoulders in return, and he said to me,

"My deepest, deepest apologies. I would never dream of hurting you, even if it meant my life. Rukia," He cupped my chin and brushed my cheeks gently. "You are the most important woman in the world to me. Those awful words that purged from my mouth—I would gladly cut my own tongue out if I ever offend you again. Believe me, for I love you, and only you."

Grimmjow held me for a while, allowing me to drain the last of my tears.

Everything happened so abruptly that it took me a bit more than a few minutes to comprehend what was going on.

But—such a gentleman he was—Grimmjow did not let me go until my blubbering had waned.

By the simple warmth that seemed to radiate from his body, I knew that his apology was sincere. I felt so much better, and so unusually happy.

I reached out my hand to touch his feather-like hair, and kissed his cheek.

"No, I'm sorry for dragging you into this. I-I've been acting like a petulant child, and you have done nothing wrong."

I then smiled. "You did not offend me; I brought all of this on myself, and I will do anything I can to change everything."

"But…I was so cruel to you. I was much too brutal to accept your pardon."

"That's not true, Grimmjow. I was the fool, thinking that my pain could vanish if I started screaming. I was... _just scared_, because I felt hopeless." I looked into his sapphire eyes.

"To tell you the truth, I want King Renji to be in my life, but, it cleanly did not seem possible. I couldn't believe anything. I...don't believe in myself, and what I can accomplish."

"Well, Rukia," He responded quietly. "You will always be forgiven, no matter how bleak the situation might be. _I assure you_."

"Truly?" I sniffled. "Even at this point?"

Grimmjow sighed and released me from his grasp. "You said that…you felt like you were a second woman to our king just a minute ago."

"Yes."

"Then, I may assume reasonably that you wish to be his _first _woman?"

I went speechless at that moment. But, he got the message by looking at the starkness that was plastered about my face, and proceeded.

"I will tell you a few things about our king, my lady. You have not heard them before, and, hopefully, they will change your opinion about him"

I cocked an eyebrow, still sniffling."How?"

"Do you wish to hear them?"

I nodded, eager to know what was on his mind. He began.

"That young human girl, Hinamori Momo was her name. She is a half-sister to the emperor of Hyorin. You know who that is, correct?"

"The emperor of Hyorin is…" I silently gasped. "It's Hitsugaya Toshiro, if I'm not mistaken. So, she is a powerful figure."

"Right. Not as powerful as her half-brother, but he loved her dearly nonetheless."

"Then, how did she meet with King Renji? I mean, the emperor's family is descended from gods. Why would they associate themselves with demons?"

"Ah, you are a true thinker, love." He praised with a smile. "Hyorin was locked in a minor civil war when Hinamori fell to an illness. The kingdom was thrown into chaos, and many people perished. It was not safe for anyone to be weak at that time. And, the best doctors, unbeknownst to many people, are located in Hueco Mundo. So, the emperor reluctantly sent his half-sister to our castle, and that was where she met our king."

"How old was King Renji?" I asked. "I must have already been engaged to him by then."

"Indeed, you were. Our king was fourteen, and he fell madly for the girl, despite knowing very well that he was engaged. But, he announced that he planned to marry her anyway."

I gulped and timidly whispered, "What about the girl? Momo?"

"Hm…I believe she was seventeen years of age then. She was very pretty, very small, and always sweet towards her hosts. It did not appear that she held any hatred towards demons, but…" He paused.

"What is it, Grimmjow? Come now, tell me."

"Hinamori-san did not love our king. Not as much as him, anyway, but she mocked him for his personality."

"…What do you mean by that?"

He smiled bleakly. "Our king…I have known him since childhood, love. I was raised here after his father took me under his wing."

"Ah, that's wonderful," I beamed with a whisper. "Then, you know more about him than anyone else."

"Haha, I suppose so, and it's nice to see you smiling again, my lady. Well, Renji was always outgoing and competitive. He liked to play all kinds of sports with the knights that resided in the palace barracks. His father, however, was harsh on him. So, the prince would usually spend his time in the libraries after a scolding. After he became king at age ten, he also became more of a recluse; kingship was simply too difficult, especially for a boy of his age."

I inclined my head in pity, allowing Grimmjow to continue.

"But, Hinamori–san arrived and it seemed that spark he had as a young boy returned. He became more active, and engaged in sword fighting. He visited his little crush everyday—every hour—and sent mountains of gifts and flowers. King Renji really wanted the young girl to love him, but she always turned him down, saying that he was a muddy, immature child. Still, he was never discouraged. He remained sturdy."

I then felt the suspense come along.

"But something unfortunate occurred..._right_?"

"Yes." He gave another sigh, and glanced at me. "Hinamori-san, it turns out, was won over. It was evident that after a few months, she came to like the king. She was healthy again, and he was the happiest I had ever seen him. But, one day…he found the girl lying on her bed in a pool of blood."

My eyes widened greatly, begging for him to go on. "Someone…assassinated her?"

"No. The young girl committed suicide. She had slashed her own throat."

We sat in silence for a minute before I spoke. I felt cold when he said that, and I asked, "Why would she do that?" I became angry. "Why would she take her own life, when she knew how much he loved her?"

"No one knows the reason, my lady."

"Are you sure someone did not crawl into her room and kill her?"

"Yes, the blade was in her hand, and she left a note to the king. It was truly unfortunate; he did not emerge from his chambers for a week. Since that day, not very many people of this palace are able to see him."

"Oh, my…that explains a lot." I replied.

"My queen…"

"Yes?"

Grimmjow extended his hand out to me and helped me on my feet. His grip suddenly tightened, and I peered into his eyes.

His eyebrows furrowed a bit, and he sternly said,

"I do not wish to bring about any trouble to you. It is obvious that you are already struggling with many obstacles, but I pray that you will try your best to make peace with our king."

His hands began to compress mine again. "In fact, don't even stop at being just content. I want you to love our king; understand that he is also a man who has endured much, but he remains open to the idea of love."

"Grimmjow, I-I—"

The man quickly intejected, and said, "Please, my queen. He cares for you. He_ truly, deeply_ cares for you. You are smart enough to look past his demon heritage, and understand that it's not an intimidating quality. I have traveled to many kingdoms and experienced many wars; I now know that racial hatred is primitive and does not apply to people such as yourself."

He then paused to let me speak, and I smiled at his concern.

I responded, "Grimmjow, thank you. I know now with what I have to deal with, and I agree; your king seems like a great man. I was too blind to notice, but...you have really opened my eyes, and in such a short amount of time, too."

"So, then…you will try to appeal to him once more?"

"Absolutely," I replied. "And I'll be sure not to throw a fit."

He smiled back, relieved. "That's perfect. My queen, thank you for giving him another chance."

"Of course."

Grimmjow bowed and kissed my hand. "I must leave now, love; I have another shift arriving. Will you be alright at this time?"

"Yes, I'm not a baby, Grimmjow. I am a woman; I'm pretty sure I am able to survive in your absence."

He kissed my fingertips once more, and answered, "Ah, but the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

He then rose, and brushed a wisp of hair from my face. "Don't cry, Rukia-sama. There are people here to protect you. I am here, whenever you need me, I will not hesitate to come for you." He placed the lavender handkerchief--which he hand retieved--back into my palm. "I am sure that, once you get to know the kind of person King Renji is, there will not be a day where you won't smile."

I nodded in thanks, and glanced down at the crumpled sheet of linen. "I know you will, and I thank you for that. I do."

He bowed in reverence for the last time before leaving, and made his way toward the garden exit, but I quickly stopped him.

I cried, "Grimmjow, wait!"

He turned around. "Yes, my queen?"

I sighed, calmly, and smiled. "Call me by my name from now on. Call me 'Rukia', alright?"

Grimmjow responded with a tilt of the head, and ambled off into the darkness.

...

_So_, I was alone again, like each and _every _day for the past 38 days.

But, obviously, I had achieved _something_ that evening.

Well, I had some help, too, and I thank God everyday for that help. They saved me, and I had also achieved something else.

You see, our little meeting might have been quick and snappy, but those words brought me the greatest joys for years to come.

Grimmjow had a special way with words, that he did.

It's no wonder that I could not stop thinking about him for the rest of the night. _And_, I wouldn't be surprised if he charmed you, as well, dear audience.

Ah, sweet dreams, indeed.

* * *

_Wow, Grimmjow's such a man, huh?_

_Well, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and pray for me so that my next one will be easier!_

_You guys have been an amazing audience (I mean, look at all those reviews!), and have really kept me going._

_Once again, **Review**, because I like them._

_Ciao._

* * *

**_Rainy Days and Mondays_**

_Talkin' to myself and feelin' old  
Sometimes I'd like to quit  
Nothing ever seems to fit  
Hangin' around  
Nothing to do but frown  
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down._

What I've got they used to call the blues  
Nothin' is really wrong  
Feelin' like I don't belong  
Walkin' around  
Some kind of lonely clown  
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you  
Nice to know somebody loves me  
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do  
Run and find the one who loves me.

What I feel has come and gone before  
No need to talk it out  
We know what it's all about  
Hangin' around  
Nothing to do but frown  
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.  



	5. Crevasse

_**TSUKI:**_

_Okay, remember when I told you all that chapter 4 was the writer's block?_

_Well, turns out this one is the actual writer's block._

_...Ah, hell, they're all writer's blocks!_

_Enjoy!_

**PREFERRED MUSIC:** _Fragile by Delta Goodrem_

* * *

XXXXXXXXXXX

**'Crevasse'**

XXXXXXXXXXX

I deserved a good pat on the back.

After a day of sitting on my knees and praying to a God who—I think—had _started_ to like me again, I, Queen Rukia, finally rolled up my sleeves and took charge of things in the palace.

Grabbing my imaginary broom and a figurative dustpan, I decided that if the demonic court was ever going to take me seriously, I had to first clean up the heap of mess I created when I entered the court itself. Well, actually, I had to _literally _start cleaning first and foremost.

From the instant I got off my knees, I wore my hair in a wild bundle, slipped into a loose tunic, and put on a pair of Russian Valenki boots.

Naturally, some opposition arose—such as my very own servants who snickered at my butch appearance—but I had prepared myself. As Yumichika whined about how much his eyes hurt while looking at me, I reached into my pocket, pulled out a gun—a lovely present from my paranoid father—and pointed it squarely in his face.

He shut up good after that. Yachiru, on the other hand, started wearing a diaper.

As part of my new regime, I demanded all the servants—and I quote—"Come out of your holes, and help me rebuild this palace. Anyone who opposes will have to board with Yumichika for a week."

As expected, the servants began emerging. When I called them all into the palace foyer, I gazed upon a meager crowd of roughly ninety people, which was surprising since Las Noches in regards to Las Noches' titanic size. And, each one of them appeared dull and gray from lack of work.

I knew I had a lot of labor for me, especially with such a tiny workforce, but my determination seemed to soar once I got them up and functioning.

However, King Renji remained in his quarters _even after_ several pages and advisors warned him of the inevitable complexities that would emerge if he were to allow "the human girl to rule."

Still, he gave no response—which was perfectly fine with me. In fact, his absence gave me the opportunity to show the demons and my King exactly how well I could handle the logistics of the cleanup.

If I could impress him by executing this—something men believe would naturally repel a woman—then I could surely capture his heart with little trouble.

We swept every corner of Las Noches with soap and water, cleaned out the gardens, traded the thick curtains for silk to welcome in more sunlight, and washed as much furniture as we could find. In addition to those, I spent some time to improve myself: throwing all my festooned dresses into a trunk, taking off the jewelry from my body, and finally removing Hinamori Momo's portrait from my corridor.

Step three in my objective for conquest of the king's admiration was completed; Hinamori-san's presence would no longer hinder my confidence or prowess.

I was thrilled, hoping that the reforms would be able to assist me with my already-tattered relationship. Perhaps, some cleaning would also patch up my equally damaged reputation as "Atrocious, Inexorable Lady Queen".

Very soon, things were beginning to brighten.

The palace eunuchs and maids became lively and firm, finally turning to me as their queen. At first, they beseeched me not to work alongside them, for it was "un-queen-ly", but I kindly refused. Consequently, I experienced backbreaking labor for a while as I washed and scrubbed along with them. However, I was able to gain their respect in the end.

Ultimately, they all agreed to no longer address me as "Queen", but as "Rukia", for I assured them that I was their friend--their sweaty, wheezing, soot-covered friend.

* * *

As it turned out, Yumichika also had some vigorous work cut out for him.

For a week, the eunuch scolded at me for returning with soggy, grime-caked clothes; he would toss me into a blistering bath and viciously scrub me while pouring gallons of soap over my taut, pale skin. To add even more punishment, he forbade me—the queen—to ever scare him again by pulling out a weapon.

--The utter boldness of that man never fails to appall me.—

However, Yumichika was not only occupied with grooming me day after day. And, I was not just aiming to keep myself busy in the palace; I had bigger fish to fry.

For the week, I had Yumichika make arrangements for a quick trip to an isolated town on the outskirts of the country. After spending more time in the Palace library and reading intensely on Hueco Geography, the town caught my interest regarding its specialty: relationships.

It was named Aiko—love child—and described as quaint, petite, and secluded: "the perfect place to restore your vigor of love peacefully"—supposedly. The residents there occupied themselves by creating love potions and aphrodisiacs, counseling lovebirds on the verge of separation, and inventing new sexual positions. Moreover, to show their zeal in a very _grand _way, the inhabitants built a giant statue of the penis in the center of their plaza.

--I'm sure you all know what my intentions were at that point.—

It was an opportunity I could not let flutter by.

Although I had done well in bribing many outside parties to do my bidding, getting Yumichika continue to aid me while keeping my plans a secret was a genuine killer. It was problematical getting that bowl-headed transsexual to budge, but I was able to succeed in the end. It only cost me a few diamonds and rubies, two silken scarves, a truckload of coined money, and a priceless jeweled hairpin from an eastern kingdom.

Thankfully, my determination paid off. All that was left to do was receive King Renji's permission—ouch!

I was forced to turn to my eunuch again, because I knew that the king was not going to let me go easily; he could see my little trip as a treasonous operation or an act to spite him. On the other hand, if I went without his permission he would send spies and I would be in more trouble.

Once the week of tidying ended, Yumichika fabricated an elaborate sob story about my ailing father who was bleeding from the ears and could not swallow.

"Rukia-sama's pitiable father lies in a grimy, tattered bed with globules of yellow saliva dripping from his sagging, purple tongue! Let her go, so he does not pass into the afterlife without his daughter's delicate hand to hold him!" He'd bellow.

--Perhaps his flamboyancy _was_ good for something.—

Yumichika announced it to the king's chief messengers as if it was a Shakespearean performance, and they soon informed me that the king refused to make a decision or even comment on the matter.

Ultimately, I was allowed to leave.

Relieved, I packed the last of my belongings for the trip, and was set for dawn the next morning. However, part of me felt somewhat upset about the king's disregard for my request. It meant that he truly no longer cared for me.

"That's alright," I repeatedly murmured to myself. "Things will begin to change very soon."

After bidding goodbye to my servants and them wishing my father well, I left Las Noches in the dimness of the early morning.

Yumichika had refused very adamantly not to travel with me, and when I approached the town—after six grueling hours enduring sweltering heat and high sand dunes—I suddenly realized why.

Aiko was, in fact, a mess.

The buildings that crowded about appeared ravaged with their walls blackened and dirty. Children—most who were completely naked—ran in roads and jumped over peasants sleeping on the streets. Butch ladies screamed at them, cracked glass lay in the landfills, and a strong stench of garbage rose from every inch of the town.

I flipped through my book that listed pictures of Aiko--pictures that told a completely different story. In the pages, it showed images of a clean, green village with smiling people and gorgeous buildings. I was confused, but when I looked on the spine, it read "published in year 6409"—thirty years ago.

Although I was dressed plainly that day, with a hood and scarf that veiled my face to avoid suspicion, the inhabitants gradually began to emerge from their homes to catch a glimpse of "the foreigner". I guessed it was the fine tunic I slipped into, the large desert vehicle, or expensive marriage ring I wore on my exposed finger.

"Shit," I thought. I could not allow myself attract more attention. I especially could not let them know I was their infamous queen, so I hid the ring in my pocket and told the driver not to reveal himself or the vehicle until I had finished my business. After paying the man a handful of coins, I drew my scarf tighter around my face and ambled ahead into the town.

"There's the penis," I sighed while walking into the plaza. My eyes shifted left and right, searching for a specific building. As I walked around for about twenty minutes, I tossed the pages of my notes and fanned myself.

It took another thirty minutes before I found the building secluded in an orchard of dying trees, and boy was I disappointed.

Standing beneath the sign that read "Brothel of Aiko" I took a moment to gaze at the lavender drapes that hung down, the dark vacuum beyond the door, and to shy away from the putrid stench of alcohol. I initially wanted to leave, refusing to take advice from prostitutes, for god sakes. But then, I examined my notes a few more times, read the chapter on the town a second time, and decided that there was no mistake—this was the place I had read about. This was my destination.

This was where "professional women" took their time to counsel troubled couples, and, in the meantime, entertained the men.

I continued to stand outside staring up at the sign in disbelief, both my body and my conservative self wanting to run away.

But, inside I knew that I was to enter the brothel eventually. I had already come this far, with most of my money spent on bribery, traveling so long in such unbearable weather, and my marriage at stake. How could I turn back? There was no other way.

So, clenching the papers in my hand and taking a _very_ deep breath, I stepped into the blackness.

* * *

"I'm looking for the head mistress of this brothel," I kindly told a working girl lying on a sofa in the lobby. She smiled at me, examined my clothing, and replied,

"My apologies, kind woman, but we do not serve females."

"I was not looking for any sexual service," I grumbled, quite disgusted by what she had just told me. "I need a bit of counseling."

"Oh, we have not practiced that in a long time. Now, we only—"

"That is why I asked for the head mistress," I quickly interjected. "I am sure that she is an expert in both fields. So, will you call her for me?"

"The Head Mistress is busy. I cannot get her just because a stranger requested it."

"I will pay extra if I am pleased with your service."

"I told you already," The girl snapped, rising from the sofa. "We do not counsel anymore."

I stayed silent and reached into my pocket as the prostitute glared into my eyes. I then whispered, "Will you ladies counsel if I pay you _this_?" And I dropped three golden coins into her hand.

She gasped in disbelief and gleefully replied, "I-I will go to her. You wait out here!"

I nodded and watched as the girl ran off into another room.

Sitting on the sofa, I was able to cool off and take some time to examine the inside of the brothel. I had never been in one before. In childhood, I remember seeing such buildings clustered around forbidden sections of Rukongai, but that was childhood. Now, I was an adult, and about to receive advice from a prostitute in order to save my reputedly "noble marriage".

It was ironic, and I was scared to death, especially of the pornographic pictures that were plastered around the walls. I'll spare you the details, dear audience. Let us simply say they showed me places I did not know a woman had.

As I tried to avert my gaze away from those repulsive prints, I noticed clacking footsteps approaching the lobby. I quickly rose from my sitting, and brushed myself into a more presentable state. I still did not remove my scarf.

The door opened and a dark-skinned woman, no older than twenty-five, approached me. She was gorgeous, with dark skin, fair hair, and dressed in revealing white clothing. The woman gazed at me with beautiful, piercing eyes that seemed to glow in the darkness, and said, "Welcome."

Very simply, she invited me. Her voice was smooth and warm like honey, and made me feel strangely attracted to both the brothel and her. She sat me down onto a bed in the middle of the lobby and offered me tea.

I kindly refused, preferring to get straight to business. "Head Mistress," I began. "I did not want to disturb your work, but I am in an emergency. My marriage—arranged marriage—has been in quite a bit of turmoil, and I wanted the best person to help me restore it. So, I came to you. What advice can you give me…uh….?"

"Halibel," She politely said. "Halibel Tia is my name. Go on."

"Yes, Halibel-san, you see, the man I am with I know barely anything about, and, well, he hates me. It was my fault that he hated me. I am doing my best to change everything for the better, but I need more advice. Can you please help me?"

"Well," the woman sighed, looking at me. "I am sorry to disappoint you, but I cannot help you in terms of marriage. If you read the sign you will know that this is a brothel. The only advice we give is how to make love. That is it. And that is what I thought you wanted"

"Oh…but, you must know how men think. You have been in this business for quite some time, I am sure, so why don't you tell me something most girls do not know?"

"I do not give out secrets. My girls are able to please their clients from experimenting, and I from my experiments. You should do the same with your husband."

"But, we…we have not…slept together yet," I told her, embarrassed. "And I do not have time to experiment. If I do anything wrong again, he will surely divorce me."

"Men are simply very anxious creatures. They like excitement. Offer him some."

"Yes, but…I…"

"I am sorry," She grinned. "I cannot continue to sit here with you. Feel free to make yourself comfortable here, but I have to work. I'm sorry."

I felt screams in my head. I could not let this woman leave.

"Wait, Halibel-san, I have gone through much trouble just to see you. I beg you to stay with me. I am desperate!"

She rose and stepped away from me. "Girl, listen to me. I do not work in the counseling service. The head mistress before me did, but now that the town is in debt, we only utilize our energies in a quicker, more efficient business: prostitution. It is the only thing that keeps this brothel alive, and I am in no shape eager to help a single woman with her marriage for just a few meager coins. Men are waiting." The woman squinted at me, and spoke up in a rude tone. "You are not from this town, correct?"

I responded meekly, "No, I'm not. My home is far away. I traveled many hours so I could be here. If you don't help me, then everything I worked for is trampled on."

"Well, well. My apologies, but there is nothing significant I can do for you. I can only hope your marriage works out the way you want it. If your husband is not pleased with you, then you shall find a new husband. You are not bad looking, I can tell from your eyes. Use what you have and be creative. In the meantime, I must go."

She began to walk away, and I felt burning tears trying to force their way up my eyes. I bit my bottom lip furiously in intense desperation.

I had never felt such anxiety, and I was just about ready to throw myself at her feet and kiss it if it would make her stay.

However, Halibel was not slowing down. I stood up and yelled,

"Is it money?!"

The woman turned around to look at me. "I beg your pardon?"

"Is it money you want? I-I have money. I can give it to you, but I demand you to stay here and help me."

She seemed interested, and asked, "How much will you pay me, girl?"

"How much do you want?"

"A lot," she smirked. "Much more than what I usually get after a session."

"Fine," I nodded, taking out my purse. "I have some money. Is this enough?"

The lady snatched my purse excitedly, and poured out all the coins onto the bed. She licked her lips while counting the masses of golden, clinking money.

I waited and held my breath. When she was finished, I smiled, thinking the amount was sufficient. But, she glared at me and growled, "I once had a client who stayed here for four hours and paid me triple this much. You have been here for only a few minutes and already you are pissing me off. Keep your money, and good day."

I grew furious at how she could just refuse me like that. As I scooped the coins back into my purse, I looked up at her, and mumbled, "I have something else if you are interested."

Halibel sighed, "I said to keep your money and to leave me, girl. If you are running a business and someone is wasting your time, I would think you would also be angry."

"I am not wasting your time, I promise you," I said while I removed a precious jewel from my pocket. I looked down at my wedding ring for a second before handing it to her, and whispering, "This is from my husband. It is from the day he married me; the same day I ruined our marriage and the same day it nearly ended if not for his kindness. But, even then I managed to screw up everything. This little ring means a lot to me. To a town like Aiko that sees marriage as a beautiful bond, and a ring as a symbol of that bond, you must know how much it would hurt for me to part with it. But…" I shook my head and sighed. "It is only a ring. If I can trade in my ring for a lasting marriage, then I would do it a million times over and some more. I do care for my husband, and I would do anything to erase all the bad I've created. If you help me, Halibel-san, then you help us. You may be a prostitute and your profession may repulse me, but I am willing to be flexible for our sake. I am willing to be your follower and your apprentice if only you help me. I will beg on all fours, and I will kill myself if that is what it takes to renew our marriage. So, if you want, take my last treasure and I will leave the rest to you."

We both were silent for a while. And, if my quick touching speech did not touch her enough, I dropped to my knees—the Queen of Hueco Mundo, unbeknownst to her, at the mercy of a prostitute.

I did not stay on the ground for long, however, for the woman soon helped me onto the bed and held the ring in front of my eyes. I said nothing and watched her gleaming eyes.

"Your wedding ring, it is from your husband?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Where did he get it?"

"From…his family."

"There is no way something this valuable could make its way here. It belongs inside the palace of our kingdom. You must have stolen this."

"No," I nervously exclaimed. "My husband's ancestors once worked for a prince in a different kingdom. I am not from this country."

"Then, which country is it?"

"H…Hyorin," I lied, looking down at my feet.

Halibel whispered, "You are not of demonic descent."

"No," My eyes shifted upwards. "I am not a demon. Do you want me to leave?"

"Oh, no," She chuckled lightly. "I don't want you to leave. And, I don't care if you stole this ring, or killed someone to get it. I really don't care. But, I am fascinated by you. How did you work up the courage to travel to Hueco Mundo when there is not an ounce of demonic blood in you?"

"I am determined." I simply said.

Halibel seemed pleased. "Indeed you are. And, luckily for you," she placed the ring in a pocket beneath her robe. "It pays off."

"So…then…" I wanted to smile.

"Yes, I will help you. Just tell me what else you need. But, keep it snappy, girl."

I could hardly keep my lips from stretching across my face. But, I tried for civility's sake. "I…I really don't know what I need. I just…I mean, is there a secret to a lasting marriage?"

"Every man and every woman is different. Every marriage is different. The secret of one couple may not work out for another couple. What does your husband like?"

"I actually don't know that. He hasn't spoken to me since our last argument. I know nothing about him."

"How long have you two been married?"

"Not long."

"I see." She rubbed her chin. "After your argument, did any one of you apologize?"

"Yes, it was me who apologized. But, he did not accept it."

"Do you know why?"

"No, and that is what troubles me. I spoke in my softest, sweetest voice. I tried so hard to make myself into an angel so that he would forgive me. But, to no avail."

The woman suddenly beamed and replied, "Ahh…I see why now. He knows you were faking it. He knows you were lying to him, and that you were not sincere! You did not want to be nice to him, you wanted to scream at him and beat him bloody. That is what you truly wanted to do."

"I…"I found myself speechless at how suddenly correct she was. "I suppose so."

"You can't put on an act in marriage. It is a bond built on trust, on honesty. If you continued on that angelic act, you would reach a limit and you would not be able to handle it later on. Could you play a perpetual dress-up game in your marriage for ten years?"

"N-no…"

"Exactly, no one can. It is unbearable to be nice to someone you hate. I suggest that the best way to handle this is to be completely honest."

"Well…how do you do that? If I'm honest, then I would be telling him all the terrible things I don't like about him."

"Be honest in your feelings. Look, men like to be provoked by their woman. They adore excitement and a sense of adventure. But, don't get unpredictable. Just keep it simple."

"How, though?"

"Girl, if you see him today, then say how much you love him, and how angry he has made you feel. Open yourself up. In a way, make yourself vulnerable under him. Say something like, 'I love you, but when you don't talk to me it pisses me off. Even after all my pain, and all the times you ignored me, I still want to crawl back to you, you stupid fuck.'"

I frowned at this "advice" she was giving me and at her verbal excretion of such words. I pondered for a moment and asked, "But, isn't that rude?"

"No, it's adorable. Men love it most of the time. Just like most of my clients like it when I scream at them."

"I see…" I murmured and fell silent.

Halibel sighed. "Look, girl, I am only a prostitute to be honest. I don't know that much about keeping a marriage together. Rather, my profession breaks up marriages, so you asking me for advice is something I would have never expected in my lifetime. I only know about men. I know what they like, but I don't know what else troubles him about you. If this town had more money, we would keep the counseling business alive and not have to depend on this. But, you saw for yourself how broken up this place is. There isn't anything else we can do."

"Okay…" I nodded to show my acknowledgement, fairly disappointed, but still assured that her advice was enough.

"If we were thriving like we were before, then the former head mistress would still be here, and she could help you. Aiko has taken one of the worst beatings ever since this new king was put in place. There is nothing much to take from this village except for us—the ladies of the night. I wouldn't be surprised if this king drained the last money of our home and threw it into extinction. He's the reason—"

"Hold on," I interjected, feeling quite sick in my tummy. "You mean, the king right now. King Renji Abarai?"

"Yes, him." She frowned. "He's the reason why Aiko has suffered so much. This town is not the only one, however. Hundreds have been thrown into poverty. All because of him."

I did not want to believe it, that it was my husband she was slandering. But, I only kept listening.

"I'm surprised you know about him. I thought Hueco Mundo books and information were banned in your kingdom. But, yes, we've fallen quite a few steps since his reign. Though, when he first ruled as a child king, we were impressed. He could actually keep a kingdom in place, and we were hopeful about him. He was charming, boyish, and no regent ever replaced him."

"What happened, then?" I asked anxiously as my voice was reduced to a whisper.

Halibel replied while scratching her head, "Girl, no one knows. All of a sudden, the kingdom just experienced a huge economic slump with less reforms and supervision. I don't understand it, because he was doing fine before. Now, it seems impossible to maintain our homes. This is all we have got, unless there is a new ruler to replace him. Hell, there could be a new king in place now. No one knows, though, because no one knows anything about what goes on in Las Noches. That is the palace where the king resides."

"I-I know about Las Noches, Halibel-san." I said, rising up from the bed and wanting to leave. "Thank you for the insight. I guess, if there really is nothing you can do for me, then I should go back home and try to talk to my husband."

"Alright, and I wish you luck," she said, taking my hand. "I wish you luck, and I want you to take this ring of yours back."

I felt a cool metal slip onto my finger. Looking down on my hand, and back at the woman, I asked, "But…don't you want this? As your payment?"

"No. It's too valuable, and it's yours. I failed to help you much, so it would make me more of an immoral person—more than I already am—if I were to keep it. Plus," she smiled at me. "I want to thank you for visiting. We haven't had much tourism in a while, and never a visitor from a foreign kingdom, so this is a gesture of appreciation, now that I know that Aiko still has hope of returning to its former, great self. I thank you, girl. And don't worry too much, you are beautiful. I wish I had girls who looked like you working for me."

"Much obliged, Halibel-san." I coyly thanked. "And I'm not worried. I think your advice, though short, just made me realize a lot of things. So, I'll be leaving now, back to my husband."

I touched the jewel of my ring and made my way to the door, before Halibel called out to me.

"Girl, wait a moment!"

I turned around and tightened my scarf, saying, "Yes, Halibel-san?"

"If you don't mind, girl, may I have your name, please?"

I halted my tongue before leaving, smiled gently, and answered, "It's not important. I'm a nobody."

I left right then.

* * *

Honesty. It was something I had overlooked and underappreciated and failed to acknowledge all throughtout my married life. But, not anymore.

While I endured another trip back to Las Noches, I spent the hours contemplating more about Halibel-san's words.

How was it that a prostitute who labored in the rageddy brothel of a town light-years in debt could force me to examine myself so thoroughly?

It soon no longer bothered me that she was the whore-boss, because I was only left to hope that the enlightenment she provided me was enough to save my marriage.

I fell asleep on the way back, and once I awoke, the moon was sitting high in the clear, black ether and the wind was blowing cooly. Despite the atmosphere returning to its nice, frigid condition, I was immensely suffering from hunger. Yeah, skipping two meals in one day was something I was never looking to try again.

When the vehicle approached the illuminated towers or Las Noches—lighted much too brightly for my comfort, I might add—I peered out the window and caught sight of that bob-headed eunuch pacing about the palace entrance.

The vehicle was parked outside the gates and, I flung myself out in relief. Yumichika ran to me, and for the first time, I honestly felt good to see him.

"Yumichika," I smiled, walking forward to receive him.

However, my smile did not last for long; as Yumichika ran closer to me, I could see that something was amiss. His face was pale and taut, eyes widened as if he had seen the devil, and huge droplets of sweat streamed from his head. I had never seen him like this before.

"What's wrong?" I asked the eunuch, taking his trembling hand。 "Why are you so pale？Did something happen?"

He did not reply, but continued to wheeze and try to catch his breath.

"Yumichika," I whispered. "You're starting to scare me . Please speak up. What happened while I was gone?"

"Rukia-sama, the…" He gulped. "The king…he has emerged from his chamber."

I then gasped, knowing the problem was serious. "Is he hurt?"

"No, it's not that. He…he has been waiting over an h-hour for you. You must come quickly."

"Well, then, am I in trouble? Why can't you just tell me what is really going on?"

"Rukia-sama, please stop yelling. King Renji is already furious, and we are doing everything he can to keep him calm."

I grew speechless at that point, thinking, "Crap. He must have never wanted me to go in the first place. That, or he did send spies to follo me into Aiko. Oh, god damn it all, why couldn't I have just been more careful? All this planning just to lead me into punishment in the end!"

Multitudes of raging thoughts raced throughout my head, all speculating what the king would say to me. I swiftly began to form up excuses and various reasons for my little trip, but none of them could stop my heart from beating faster and faster.

Clasping my arm, Yumichika and I entered into the palace foyer, the entire hall brightly lit for the first time.

I saw the servants—Yachiru, her maids, everyone-- crowded around the stairs, standing stiffly beneath the ceiling mural which was suffused with a golden layer of light.

The halls and windows were crystal clean—like I had expected. But, I did not expect, when my eyes peered up to the top of the stairs where the pages and maids were clustered around, that King Renji would be standing there.

Yumichika immediately released my arm, kneeled, and tilted his head downwards. He cried, "Beloved King!"

The servants quickly followed to their knees, one by one, and soon I was the only one standing straight in the presence of his majesty.

I didn't know what to do at first, whether I should bow or spew out crazy, random rationalizations and beg for forgiveness. I was about to do just the latter and opened my mouth to speak, until the king raised his hand to stop me and began his way down the stairs.

I stepped forward, though frightened to tears. I wanted to say something to him, to be honest like Halibel-san had advised. But, instead, I followed orders and kept myself silent.

We stared at each other for some odd moments. From what I could see, the king did not seem angry at all. Rather he appeared to have just woken up from a thousand-year nap, and wanted something to eat.

"He could not be…" I thought.

His warm brown eyes conveyed a sense of calmness, and the crimson locks that fell in perfect wisps onto his untense shoulders made me doubtful that he was ever angry. Perhaps, he really wasn't. And, if I explained to him in an honest tone what my reasons for leaving were, then we could all forget this ever happened.

"My king," I began. "I-I apologize…for leaving."

King Renji looked at me plainly. I was about to believe that he would let the situation go peacefully, until he replied with, "Who do you think you are, Rukia, to place your hands on the walls of my palace without my approval?"

I opened my mouth, unable to loosen my tongue, and simply stared.

"This is not your home," he continued. "This is not your property. Remember that you are a human, a foreigner, and you have no right to do what ever you please in this dwelling without permission."

I sighed, with eyes still riveted on him, and chuckled in half-relief, "…Is that what you're angry about?" I grew upset. "That I cleaned up this palace and made it more beautiful?"

The king did not reply.

"So, let me get this perfectly clear. I spend an entire week with the servants sweeping and washing, and you berate me for it. I gave so much energy into glorifying your home, this palace which looks amazing now, and you dare to tell me you hate it?"

I heard small gasps from the servants who were still on the floor. I could feel Yumichika, kneeling beside me, lightly tug on my cloak as if to desperately remind me to keep my lips in check.

I did not heed the warning.

"King Renji," I continued boldly, angrily. "Why can't you just let me help you? I am trying so hard to win your heart, but you keep shaking me off, as if I'm a bad case of fleas. I am your wife, and I apologize. Can't you tell? Can't you tell that I want relations between us to be….you know, good, and for us to be married happily? Why is it that you always fail to acknowledge that?"

Yumichika jumped up at that pont, shaking my arm and whispering in an anxious tone, "Stop it now. Remember who you're talking to."

I noticed Yachiru lift her head to look up at me with frightened eyes, shocked by what had sputtered from my mouth..

"I don't care," I told Yumichika. "I am his queen. I am supposed to be his equal."

"You are a trophy wife," He growled nervously. "You can't talk back to him like this! Shut up, or you'll have us killed."

"Be quiet, Yumichika," I snapped. "Mommy and daddy are talking. Quit trying to stop me. I know this is what the king needs, is for someone to finally confront him instead of kising his ass time after time. I am only being honest."

"You are being insolent! Enough already, please!"

"Sit back down." I ordered and ambled to the foot of the staircase to meet King Renji's eyes. "You know, you don't scare or intimidate me at all. I don't care if you are Hueco Mundo's high king. I am your queen, and the reforms that I make are just as important to the court and country as the reforms that you pass. Simply because I am a woman, you must believe that I cannot—"

"It was not what you did to this palace," King Renji interrupted cooly, "that I am troubled about."

I abruptly paused, my mind unable to process what he just said. Like a retarded child who just fell headfirst on the ground, I dumbly managed to ask, "Pardon?"

"Pardon what? Didn't you hear me?"

"I-I heard you." I felt stupid, as my confident tone—which I held like a mighty sword a moment ago—was gone!

"The reason I am infuriated by you," The king stared into my bewildered eyes, "is because you removed the portrait of the girl in your quarters."

…

I could not believe my ears. "Hold on a minute." I had to bend my head down to think clearly. "But…I…"

"I do not know why you would do such a thing, especially towards a girl you do not know. Taking her portrait down truly showed me how disrespectful you are, both to me and to the girl."

"No…King Renji," I didn't know how to respond, or how to protect myself. He had just confronted me with something utterly unexpected, and I was convinced I would not have seen it coming even if it was placed right under my nose and I was armed with binoculars.

"You…cannot be so petty as to scold me for this."

"Why not, Rukia? Care to explain?"

"B-because…it's just a portrait." I clenched my fist. "How the…how the hell could you be angry at me because of…of this. I don't believe you!"

"Rukia-sama!" I heard Yumichika call out to me. "Close your mouth! Do not make this worse than it already is!"

"Shut up!" I screamed. "Just shut up! Oh my God, this is u-unbelievable…" I was trembling uncontrollably by then, and it was not due to the sudden chill that blanketed the atmosphere.

"King Renji, it's just a _portrait_." I pleaded.

He brows furrowed into an intense frown. "It is a portrait of my former love! Taking it down, and discarding it like so much trash, you have done an unthinkable act!"

"Unthinkable?!" I roared. Oh, God, no no no. I was screaming again. I was screaming again, after I promised myself not to. "You want to know what is unthinkable? That you prefer her to me, to your wife!"

"Rukia-sama, stop it!" Yumichika shrieked. I ignored him.

"What makes this woman so much better than me? She's dead, isn't that enough to draw you away?"

"No." He growled. "This woman, the one you insult so horribly now, will always be a better woman than you could ever hope to be."

Gasping loudly, I placed my palm over my lips to keep myself from spilling out any outrageous obscenities. "A…" I could not breathe. "A better woman than me…? You're s-saying that…you…you don't even know what kind of woman I am! How dare you!"

King Renji boomed, "How dare me what? That I don't know who you truly are? I never will, because you will not allow it!"

"I tried, didn't I?"

"It was not good enough." King Renji 's voice was tempered. He shut his eyes as if wanting to cry, and opened them to reveal brown, chestnut orbs that burned ferociously with both anger and remorse. He glowered at me. "You, Rukia, will leave tomorrow morning. You will go back to your hometown, and we will no longer be together. You will no longer live here, and I will never see you again. Congratulations, you destroyed this marriage."

A hush fell over the room, and I quickly clenched at my stomach, fearing I would cough up blood.

The portrait of Miss Hinamori, the act of removing it—something I nearly subconciously ordered my servants to do—weilded the power to finally destroy my marriage! How unfortunate, that it would end like this, because of her…

Why, God, did it have to be _her_? Again?

"My King," I mumbled, looking to my hands to avoid his eyes. "I…"

"What was your goal in removing it?" He sternly asked.

"I…I didn't like her face there. I-it was my hallway and my quarters."

"Didn't I just say this palace does not belong to you?"

"Yes, but…that room was meant for me. Her being there…day after day, and looking at me, and taunting me…and reminding me that I-I cannot be her…" My teeth crashed onto the bottom of my lips. "Oh, God, why do you still love her?!"

I had to scream, out of fury, and because of the fact that her spirit, her cold, uninviting spirit, still lingered around. She was dead, for God sakes, and yet she continued to curse me.

She was a rotting corpse buried under layers of rock and clay, and yet he preferred her to me. I couldn't understand it.

I just couldn't understand how I seemed to always be second to her. I was living, breathing, and beautiful, and killing myself for this man, but it was never going to be good enough!

Plain and clear, I could then see, nothing was going to help me.

Even as he glared angrily at me, I knew that he was picturing his deceased beloved's complexion plastered over my own. He was comparing me to her again, and she was winning. He was praying for that girl to come back, and for me to be the one lying lifeless in a tomb.

I knew, he was thinking that my hair could never be as soft and silken as her hair.

My eyes could never be beautiful and so tenderly demure like hers.

My hands could not comfort and warm like hers.

My mind could never think, understand, and love, and appreciate like hers.

My grace could not float on air, and I could not make a king, one who was burdened so heavily with responsibility since his birth, to fall in love with me like she had achieved.

I could not do it. And it devoured me inside to finally understand it! All the trouble I endured, all the people who assured me, and all the advice and money and aid in this god-forsaken world could not make me her! I could not make a man stay in love with me. Even Ichigo, my love since childhood, ran off with another a woman!

I fought against new tears burning and streaking down to incinerate me cheeks. I wanted to run away, and end my life. If nothing I did was going to help, and the king was planning to divorce me, and I would be forced back home in shame without any future, or pride, or gain—then I should just end everything!

I started crying, as the servants gradually began to lift their heads to look at me, I whimpered, "I'm s-so sorry, then, m-my king."

"Don't apologize, Rukia. I have had enough."

"But…let me just say…"

"Just go." He did not look at me. "You've done too much now. Leave. We are through."

I gasped silently.

It hurt even more that I could not give my final goodbye face to face with him.

But, I drearily complied.

With shoulders slumped and cries already bursting from my throat, I stepped past the maids and pages and headed for the corridor.

I saw Yumichika stand up, as if to help me to my room, but he halted in his tracks as I turned my head one final time to say, "If I was that girl, Miss Hinamori…would you be treating me the same way you are treating me now? Would you tell me to leave you, or would you hold me in your arms and forgive me?...King Renji?"

Yumichika looked at me, and back at the king. The scarlet-haired man did not answer me. He was still, but I could already feel my heart in the midst of an everlasting decay. I knew what he would have answered. I had lost. No forgiveness for me, ever again.

"Well…" I whimpered, standing in the corridor and blanketed by its darkness. Gulping, and not saying much for a moment, I opened my mouth to scream, "Well, I l-love you, you _s-stupid_ _FUCK_!"

I ran away as quickly as my tired feet could handle.

I ran past the halls, the murals, the chandeliers, the corridors, and dashed with blurry eyes into my room.

I slammed the door, ripped all my clothes from the dressers and wardrobe, and tossed them furiously across the room. As I bawled, and gasped desperately for oxygen, my body could no longer stand by itself.

I collapsed to the ground with my head buried in my arms, weeping frantically.

"Please, God, take my life, take my life take my life, take my life, take my life..."

Suddenly, there was a distant booming noise. I ignored it to drain my eyes.

"...take my life, take my life, take my life, take my life...JUST ＥＮＤ IT!"

Not for long, though did I ignore the bellowing eruption of sound; in a fraction of a second, I saw my hand engulfed by a flood of red.

I looked up and there was red and orange light everywhere. It devoured the chandelier which hung above, shattering its crystals, melting the golden metal arms in an insane scream. The carpet flooring, my bed, and the sheets and pillows vanished in a massive craze of light. The flaming leviathan roared, reaching and eating everyhing in its path.

The room shook under the power and force of the conflagration as it pushed forward. The cloak was torn from my body, its cloth blackened.

I went deaf as my eyes turned to look down at my arm. Tears flew from my petrified eyes, evaporated in an instant, and I shrieked painfully as the flesh twisted, burst, and ripped itself from the bone and muscle.

My arm had ruptured in an explosion of blood which spit and splattered over my face. My eyes were burned by the boiling heat, the fires raged violently, eating me up in an instant.

I screamed. That was all I could do.

* * *

_Uh oh...Rukia's in some deep doodoo._

_A divorce and an accident in the same day, could you imagine?_

_Holy Moses, let's all pray she gets out alright._

_And, in the meantime, let's all pray that it won't take me another 6 months to finish a chapter!_

_Read and **Review**, my lovelies!_

* * *

_Six thoughts at once I can't focus on one  
Seven days a week but my life has just begun  
So caught in emotion and I'm overcome  
As I'm falling down I come undone_

_Sometimes I feel like I'm alone_  
_Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong_  
_Sometimes I feel so frail so small  
Sometimes I feel vulnerable  
Sometimes I feel a little fragile  
A little fragile_

_In six thousand years what will this mean  
Words from the heart or a melody  
So caught in emotion and I'm overcome  
As I'm falling down I come undone_

_If people can see right through my eyes  
Like an open door that I can't disguise  
I won't be afraid from the tears I cry  
I'll not run I'll not hide this is how I feel inside  
A little fragile  
A little fragile_


	6. Pardonne Ou Oublie

_**TSUKI:**_

_Well, I'm pleased to say that this one was updated quicker than expected._

_Therefore I like this chapter._

_And, you all finally know what happens to Rukia!_

_Enjoy! _

_**ALSO**....Check out my new fanfic **'Himmel'** for angsty/WWII goodness._

**PREFERRED MUSIC:** _She Has No Time by Keane

* * *

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**'Pardonné Ou Oublié**

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_She awakens to the soft glow of the candlelight floating inches away from her face. Her cheeks are flushed, head buried in papa's shoulders, and tiny, pale hands clutching to his shirt._

_She wishes it could feel more comfortable, but heat continues to swell._

_The rain pours hysterically tonight, and scent of muddy water floods the town. If feels so very cold, even in papa's arms. Winter would not be any better. _

_The room reeks of bitter root and powdered remedies—it belongs to that man with the bushy chin. She hates it, but remembers papa telling her not to make a sound._

_How could she, though, when everything feels so numb?_

_All the girl can do to express discomfort is by simply coughing._

"_Khahh…"_

_Papa gently pats her back, and she responds by nuzzling into the crook of his neck. Through blurry eyes, she observes the shelves which are lined with many jars containing foreign plants, dried seahorses, and white roots. The colors and strangeness of it all are fascinating. If not for the throbbing pain in her stomach, she would have fallen asleep to the echoes of the rain and papa's warmth. _

_Bushy-chin man comes out after an hour, and odors of ginger and alcohol linger on his skin. She is not surprised, looks at him._

_He appears somber, and slowly shakes his head. Suddenly, papa falls to the floor with his daughter still cradled in his arms. _

_What is this? Papa is crying. He trembles like a decaying tree against the winter gusts, and tears spill from his eyes. Warmth quickly escapes his body._

_For the first time, she feels despair. _

"_Don't cry, papa," Her teeth chatter, but she valiantly manages to whisper. "Don't cry. It feels like winter is already here."_

_He wraps his arms around her, holds her delicate little head close, and whispers an apology._

"_I'm so sorry. I've failed."_

_She silently prays for a happy ending, though she was certain it would not arrive that evening, or any time soon._

* * *

That Monday was one dawn I could never brush away from memory. And, I suppose that, after contemplating the event time and time again, I deserved the punishment.

My only complaint was that it didn't have to require a massive explosion to finally catapult me across the room—quite literally, I might add—into maturity. I certainly hope that I will no longer be immobilized and confined to a bed, entirely bloodied, and with a quarter of my torso both incinerated and destroyed.

King Renji's verbal thrashings I managed to _somewhat_ tolerate, but I simply could not bear the agony of losing my entire right arm.

That time was unquestionably far from painless; I was lying so vulnerable and feeling blood stream from every pore and hole of my body. Dim lights hovered above me; people were running around and shouting about things I could not comprehend.

I knew my two ears were nearly deafened by the blast, and the only noises I understood were that of my own semi-audible wails.

"Please," I cried. "It hurts!" But my voice faded into a bare whisper.

Despite my shock, I attempted to shift my neck to catch a glimpse of what was happening, to see what people were beside me, and what they were doing.

Though my mind was drowning in a state of delusion and my eyes partially blinded from the stinging flood of tears and blood, I noticed that several men in elongated, black garments and white cloths plastered over their mouths began to linger over my bed. I was terrified, not sure if they had intentions of hurting me, or if I was still sheltered in the palace.

"I..." Red liquid instantaneously spurted from my lips. "I beg of you. Let me go..."

They did not say anything, but stared at me. I became anxious as one pulled out a silver rod from his pocket, lowered it to my right eye, and blinded me with a flash of beaming light. I yelped and gasped as two men held my restless legs down, still not knowing my whereabouts or what was to come. But, oh, it was horrible, nevertheless.

I could see strange phantoms gliding and then disappearing into the whites of my eyes, visions of microscopic rivers of blood seeping down charred skin, and my own flesh trying to tear itself away. The worst, however, was the sheer pain.

I fidgeted hysterically and tried to kick—desperately searching for a way to release the anguish in my body.

Only then did I realize, as I arched my back and quickly shifted my eyes, that one of the men was holding a long needle and preparing to inject it. He inched towards me, and abruptly my hearing was restored. Before he could touch me, I screamed as loud as I could.

"AHHH!!"

I violently swung my left arm at the man, hitting him in the jaw so hard that he faltered backwards and dropped the syringe. I tried to jump out of the sheets, but was quickly pinned against the bed.

"Let me go! Let me GO!"

"Rukia-sama," One of them cried. "Stay still, please!"

I did not obey, and continued to fidget like a madwoman until a large wound in the stub of my arm opened and showered blood across the room in a rain of crimson.

"My queen, stop moving or you'll die!"

"NO! It hurts! IT HURTS SO MUCH...!"

"My queen, I pray you--!"

I was just about to lose my mind to the torment along with another gallon-full of blood, until someone's hand suddenly clutched at my arm and gripped it tightly. It was much too tight for comfort.

Even in my state of hysteria, my mind became clear enough to know immediately who that person was. After all, there was only man who could hold my arm like that and force every breath in my lungs to escape.

A tear fell from my eye as I looked up to meet a pair of glistening blue orbs riveted to that familiar, stern face. This time, however, his complexion appeared to be softened, and he lowered his head to my own.

"Rukia," Grimmjow whispered. "Can you hear me?"

"Wha..." I stuttered, mentally tattered. "...what are..."

"Rukia," The blue-haired man gravely repeated. "Calm yourself and look into my eyes. Are you able to understand me?"

I sighed slowly, feeling my muscles weaken. "…Yes." The rising motion of my chest gradually calmed. I shuddered, about ready to sob in relief, "Oh, Grimmjow, why are you...?"

"I came to see how your wounds are. You had us startled for a minute there."

"Are you a-alright?"

He smiled warily. "I should be the one to ask you. But, I am fine. Where do you feel pain, Rukia?"

"Uh...in m...my..." I glanced over to where my right arm once was. The soiled bandage encompassing the stump had loosened and was dangling about. "I-I don't know...! It hurts all o-over."

Grimmjow motioned for a nearby medic to prepare a second needle. "I am so sorry, my queen. We'll give you a stronger sedative. For now, try to endure."

"O...okay."

"You'll be alright in a minute."

"I...I'm in so much pain right now..."

"I know, but you'll fall asleep soon, and then you won't feel a thing. Stay still so our medics can help you relax."

"...A-am I going to die?"

"No. We won't let you die."

"Never? You..." I felt another sharp sting in my left wrist. But, thankfully, Grimmjow's strong grip helped to numb the impulsive pain of the injection. "...You won't let me die?"

"I promise I won't…"

I blinked as he raised his head. "Grimmjow...?"

"Yes, my queen."

"What happened? Why...why am I like this?"

"An explosion occured. Other than that, I am not certain on the details. My men are currently investigating."

"...I...I don't feel safe here."

He squeezed my hand. "I know, Rukia, but I am here to protect you. Don't be scared; we'll find the people who did this."

Hasty footsteps approached my bed accompanied by heavy breathing. Although the drug I was injected with hindered my ability to turn my neck and my overall mobility, I sensed it was Yumichika who arrived. He clenched a candle in one hand and cradled a bucket of cool water in the other arm, seemingly calm but his trembling hands belied his composure.

"It's your chief eunuch, Rukia." Grimmjow gruffly whispered.

"N-no. I don't want you all to see me l-like this."

"Rukia-sama," Yumichika spoke, "I'm just here to clean up your face a bit. It's not the most beautiful thing in the world right now."

"Yu...Yumichika..."

"Yes?" He replied while steadily brushing a wisp of hair from my face.

"Is everyone alright? Has…anyone else b-been injured?"

"No. The explosion was only in your room."

"Then," My eyes widened in fear. "...s-someone is trying to assassinate m-me...! How c-can I be--"

"Let's not worry about those sorts of things, Rukia" Grimmjow said gently to me. "Just take the time to rest. We've strengthened precautions, and I have called my royal guards back to the palace. They will arrive soon."

"The...royal guards?"

"Yes. I have already ordered for their return. In a few days, my soldiers shall be stationed at the palace. It does not matter how long I place them here, but I will be sure to capture the assailants, and they will pay heavily. I promise you, we will do everything possible so that you will not suffer in such a way ever again."

At that moment, I could have sworn I saw his eyes glisten.

"...Th..."

Grimmjow gazed down at me as I tried to speak, but the overwhelming effect of the drug was arduous to struggle against. Plus, his pledge to me made him seem strangely intimidating--a bit more formidable than what I usually perceived him to be. Nonetheless, I was glad of his presence by my side. Fortunately, it was I he promised to protect.

"Thank you, Grimmjow."

"Of course, my queen. And do not allow this accident to frighten you too much. A blast of that capacity only managed to injure you, but it did not kill you." He held my hand to his lips and kissed the tip of my fingers. "I am genuinely grateful for your spared life. We would all be devastated if the unthinkable truly did happen."

Grimmjow smiled gingerly and retreated from the bed, allowing Yumichika to bend over me, pressing cool cloth to my forehead and bloodying the tub of water in his grip. I felt I was close to sleep, even as Yumichika's damp cloth against my skin made me shiver. He appeared to be quite disgusted by the amount of blood he had to wipe off, but I appreciated his valiant effort and the mere fact that he was able to approach me despite the grotesque scene of a medic wrapping up my ravaged, gory stump of an arm.

Soon, I was beginning to feel better, not to mention gradually drifting off into slumber. But, truly, how fortunate I was to have such people by my side! I almost forgot my right arm was even missing.

Some time passed until every blotch of blood was wiped off, my tattered gown changed into a clean night dress, and all my wounds disinfected and wrapped up. The burns on my skin no longer hurt, yet they left hideous purple-black marks on the flesh.

I then realized that, as the medics began to leave, sunlight was slowly burgeoning and inundating the room. Yumichika had left, Yachiru entered earlier to give me water, but once the sun rose, only Grimmjow and I remained in the room.

He had shed his regimental jacket and settled it over my shoulders as the autumn season blew in a frigid storm of gusts.

A kind of peace hung in the air between us, even as I struggled against the temptation of sleep, peering across the bed and holding my heart in place while gazing upon Grimmjow's impeccable complexion of self-discipline. He sat in a chair to my left, facing the window.

As rays of golden light swept through the silken curtains and danced across his cheeks, I noticed rosy blushes forming on his lightly-tanned skin, and illuminating his feather-like hair in such a way that it almost shimmered. In the light, I could see that his face was plastered with a kind of daunting expression, one which exhibited a combination of rigidity and truculence. Although, I never would have described him as such.

Perhaps, I pondered, he was merely angered by the assassination attempt on my life, and was deeply troubled by the damage it caused--to both the court and I, but tried not to show it.

If my body had not been so numb, I would have gladly conversed with Grimmjow, and thanked him for staying calm with me despite the uproar Las Noches now faced. I would have tried to ease whatever turmoil he was experiencing in return.

He most certainly was not the only one troubled, though; I wondered what King Renji was thinking of after an attack on his palace--a predicament he probably was never prepared for, being as young as he was. And, I also wondered, as I lay gruesomely crippled in the dimness, if I continued to remain as his wife.

Would he still approve of the divorce, or would he give me a final chance to prove myself as both a queen and a wife? Possibly, if he miraculously forgave me once more, I could become his lover and even a "new Hinamori-san", as inane as that sounded.

However, I was not feeling optimistic.

What I desired more than anything else, rather, was a simple period of rest. I wanted absolutely nothing to be lingering, not even the huge dilemma that was shoved in my lap not too long ago. I needed sleep immediately. So, I slept. However...

...I did not remain asleep for long.

As the hours dragged on, I believed that everyone had finally left me alone in the room. My belief would have been confirmed if only I had not felt a warm grip on my own hand, embracing my fingers gently.

Through the slits of my eyes, I looked up to see Grimmjow still beside me, holding my hand. He was watching me sleep, and I in turn gazed at him--though he did not notice what I was doing.

It was quite a shock to me--the only hand-holding I ever experienced with a boy was with Ichigo (hell, not even my own husband), but now a new man had moved into that position.

But, no.

No, I could not do it. I could not possibly have thought that my guardian harbored feelings for me, the wife (or ex-wife, we'll see) of his king, whom he was deeply loyal to. Even a hint of romance in our relationship would be seen as treason, so...I could not allow it.

After all, had not I caused enough damage to the court?

I was ready to rise from the bed and shake his hand away in protest, until Grimmjow stood up himself, our hands still entwined. My eyes quickly shut before he could notice, and yet I was able to feel his gaze upon me--burning through my flesh.

_No..._

My body froze in response, unsure of what he was to do. There was silence between us for a moment, until shuffling sounds broke the tension. However, those noises were dangerously close to my own ear.

"Rukia." He whispered to me, in a peculiar tone.

I could not bear it; my body began to sweat and heat up as I felt his weight press against the bed. Warmth slowly descended and hovered over my face. Closer, closer, and so very close...

_He wouldn't..._

His finally lips touched my forehead. Kiss.

"_Rukia_..."

I could not breathe, could not move--could not bring myself to wholly believe it. Nevertheless, I did not dare make any movements which would have aroused his attention, and brought us both some more awkward moments.

So, I continued to keep my eyes shut and pretend I was asleep, listening to the sounds of his footsteps leaving, and the door shutting ever so gently. I was soon alone again, thank God, but air would not come to me.

It simply would not come.

* * *

_"There is nothing you can do, Doctor? Are you absolutely sure...?" Papa whispers somberly, about to cry._

_"My apologies. I cannot heal her."_

_"Why not?" _

_"Because..." Bushy-chin man replies sympathetically, peering at the girl. "...I have never seen this kind before in my life."_

_"I will do anything! Anything--heal her...!"_

_"There is nothing I can do--"_

_"Then, where do I go?" The man clutches his little girl close to his chest, as if she was squirming to leave and he would not allow it. _

_The lass does not move, however; poor girl. Her body feels limp, like she has proceeded to decay._

_"Where will I go?"_

_No answer._

_"What will I do? My daughter..."_

_"Khaah..."_

_"...My daughter will die..."_

* * *

As expected, Las Noches had been driven to the brink of insanity and then mercilessly shoved off--no suprise; the entire tower where my room was located had been completely burned, and the court was overflowing with fear of another terrorist attack.

Thankfully, I was left out of the madness due to my injuries. The advisors, after all, did not want their "precious, delicate human Queen" to succumb under more pressure after the accident.

Although I was begging to know where King Renji was, and if I could see him, no one paid more than a minute's worth of attention to me (except the doctors who came every hour for examination).

Breakfast, supper, and dinner were served to me on golden plates as usual, but no Yumichika or Yachiru to keep me company. As for Grimmjow..._well_, he was _probably_ allowing time to wash away the very nerve-racking incident between us--at least I hoped so. But, I truly did not want to think more about him and what he did that morning.

Then again, occasionally, as I sat in bed bored to tears, I would take some time to ponder that moment, and what would happen once we meet again. The mere thought made me rush to the bathroom (while settled in my wheelchair), and rinse my flustered face (with one arm)--worked every time without fail.

On a lighter note, I did not spend my time alone, fortunately; my dear sister Hisana arrived to Hueco Mundo for the first time just to visit me.

She had received news of the assasination attempt on my life, and in exactly 24 hours after the explosion, she was by my bedside, weeping, praying, and thanking God that I was able to breathe.

"Oh...Rukia-chan..." She sobbed, stroking my face and fervently kissing my cheek. "My little sis...look at you..."

I was glad of her presence; it made all the surgeries and shots much easier to handle knowing that my sister was nearby. She was a couple of months along in her pregnancy, supporting a swollen tummy and extra weight, yet she still glowed so wonderfully.

Hisana also appeared to be quite comfortable in the presence of demons, which I had not expected. I did expect, however, that people would gravitate to her once they met. I was, of course, correct. If only my first day here had been as pleasant...

Although I was unable to converse with her when she arrived, on the third day, I was up and running again--somewhat, but healthy enough to freely sit out in my garden and sip tea while discussing her pregnancy, our father's health, friends back home, and, of course, my marriage--which I tried desperately to avoid.

"Nee-san." I said to her as she fanned herself.

"What is it, baby sis?"

"Um...How's Byakuya?"

Hisana gave out a light chuckle as I stared at her. She grinned, "You don't really want to know, Rukia, do you? Or, is this merely to change the subject?"

"No, Hisana. I really would like to know..."

"Well," She daintily wiped her mouth with a napkin. "He's been busy. With the pregnancy I've had to make a few trips to visit his family, and they're quite nice themselves, though...nothing like Byaku-chan."

I almost gagged when she giggled out that ridiculous nickname for her husband; I could not imagine his expression whenever she called--or teased--him that, accompanied with her merry, light-hearted voice.

"You don't actually..."

"What? Call him 'Byaku-chan'?"

I did not reply.

"Well, of course not all the time. There are days when I suddenly recall that he's the governor of Sereitei and I am his wife, a commoner from Rukongai. I have to show some respect."

"...Does he get angry at you for that?"

"Absolutely not, he never gets angry at me." She smirked. "I am his lover, not just a wife. He married me out of love, remember?"

"...Yes." I felt my expression wilt. "Of course; your life is perfect. You got everything you've ever wished for."

"Don't say such things, Rukia," she frowned. "You're a queen, I am a governess. Which do you think most girls would want to become?"

I looked up and replied, "It's not status I'm concerned about, nee-san. It's...it's everything else."

"What..." She leaned closer to me. "What do you mean, sweetie?"

I sighed. "You have...a husband you love, and a baby on the way. But I've..." I had to stop.

"Loosen your tongue, Rukia," she said, holding my hand. "Somehow I can just tell what you're about to say is going to completely throw me off course. What's happening in your marriage that you want to avoid at all costs?"

I stared into her murky eyes, unsure of how to manage my feelings, and apprehensive of her response. "Well, I..." I could not do it; my rage suddenly built up. Why was it that I could not tell even my own sister of my ordeals? Was I truly _that _pathetic, and _that _unstable?

"...Hisana..."

"Yes?" She was eagerly listening.

I sighed once more, and turned to look her squarely in the eyes. I whispered, "I'm jealous of you."

....

--Okay, so let's cut the sentimental tension and stop right here for a moment. I know what you're all thinking: "get on with the story." Well, too bad; I shall now present a few facts you ought to know about my sister, whether you harbor interest or not. Here it goes--

* * *

**Kuchiki Hisana**

_Twenty-five years old..._

_Governess of Sereitei since marriage..._

_Currently with child..._

_Wanted to become a physicist as a girl..._

_Graceful, witty, charming, perfect..._

_Extremely, extremely intuitive..._

* * *

"Oh...sweetie..." Hisana whispered to me, still holding my hand, after I had just confessed everything to her--my envy, loathing, regrets, pains, and my divorce--and was expecting some tears to be shed, or at least her forgiveness and sympathy in a minute-long wail.

Unfortunately, I did not know my sister well enough; what happened next was completely out of my expectations, and, if I may say so myself, completely out of this world.

"Rukia-chan..." She then stood up, walked behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders, giggling, "You poor girl. I already knew you were jealous of me, from the day of my marriage I could see it so clearly on your face."

I then froze, unable to respond. I won't lie; I had not seen _that _coming towards me.

"How did you..."

She shrugged. "It's a feminine thing, I suppose. Oh, but don't worry, you're still not entirely ripe, yet."

"...You're beginning to worry me..."

Hisana continued. "I'll tell you something good, Rukia-chan: I met your husband a day ago."

That was when I started to sweat. A lot.

"Wh--what?!?" I shrieked, swiftly turning my head to face her.

"Oh, yes, King Renji." She giggled effervescently. "I was able to get a hold of him. Not over dinner, like I had wanted, but I was allowed in his office for a little chat."

"Hi...Hisana..." I stuttered, eyes widening.

"Don't give me that look, Rukia. I had to meet him because I just knew your marriage was failing, and that you needed my help but could not bring yourself to ask me." She bent down to meet my eyes. "It's not good to keep things to yourself, but after all these years you're still reserved as ever. What a horrible child, you are."

"You shouldn't have..." I trembled, returning her glance. "Didn't you hear? He divorced me; I am not his wife anymore--"

"Don't give me that, Rukia," She retorted. "There is no divorce."

I...I could not believe what I just heard.

"...I beg your pardon?"

Hisana giggled. "Did the explosion deafen you, too? I said there's no divorce. You're still his one and only wife."

"But...that's _not_ possible," I whispered. "He told me to leave. I don't understand you..."

"I talked to him about it, Rukia." She smiled. "Although I had to plead for an audience, but, in the end I succeeded--it took a chunk out of my dignity, you must know. I told him that...you two as a couple still had much time to be utilized in the future. I told him..." Hisana stroked my hair. "...that you two can't leave each other when you barely know one another. It just isn't right."

"Hisana, you can't command the king to do something. Have you gone mad?"

"You've been more hostile towards him, haven't you? I'm your elder sister; at least I know which words to use properly. And, besides," She said. "...I have experience. So, I talked to him about a few things, and, to tell you the truth, I don't think he ever truly had the courage to divorce you."

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not."

"Hisana...you should have heard what he said to me that night..."

"I don't care what sick things he yelled to you, Rukia," She crossed her arms. "That's all in the past now. I want you to look ahead, and start over."

I sat silent, with lips frozen in place. My eyes wandered over to the china tea cups sitting on the table before me--I suspected the tea had already gone cold. It was a blustery day, after all.

"Speaking of which, what time is it?" She asked me.

"Um..." I peered down at my jeweled watch. "It's a minute 'til noon. Why?"

"Oh...nothing for you to concern yourself over," Hisana smiled so mirthfully she almost looked like a child, which I naturally ignored.

"Nee-san," I murmured. "I don't think I can face him ever again."

"Hm?" She cocked her eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Because...I've never had someone who made me feel so horrible before. Not father, or you, or...my old teachers at the academy. Never, until I met him..."

"Rukia-chan, I'm sure things will work out--"

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm missing an arm."

She shrugged again. "What does you missing a limb have to do with anything?"

I then grew exasperated, annoyed by her silly questions. "Ugh, that means he would never want me again! What man wants a crippled woman as a wife...?"

"Goodness, Rukia," She said to me. "I thought you would be a little bit more appreciative of all the trouble I went through for you."

"Well, I'll just wait until I'm _'fully ripe'_ to fully appreciate anything, Hisana." I retorted, ready to leave. "I'm going back to my room."

"What?" She exclaimed. "Right now? This early?"

"We've been sitting here for three hours. I'm tired."

My arm reached downward to wheel myself away, until Hisana stopped me and settled herself in my face.

"Move, nee-san."

"No. You stay a little longer."

"Please move. I...I really am falling asleep."

"Oh, no. I think you'll be quite pleased if you just settle down here for one more minute."

I looked at her with a wary scowl, uncertain of what she was up to. "Why won't you let me leave?"

"Just wait. Please."

I attempted to navigate around her, until she placed her hands on my wheelchair, keeping her weight pressed down and refusing to let me leave.

"Hisana, is this some kind of joke...?"

"Stay with me, Rukia-chan. We don't even see each other anymore. You know I can't travel to Hueco Mundo once every single week, so this makes up for lost time..."

"Nee-san, _please_ don't take advantage of my disability..."

"Then stop squirming around," Hisana said, peering behind me.

"Could you--let go...!"

"Hold it there, little one..." She gazed behind me one last time and smirked. I turned my head to catch a glimpse of what she was staring towards, until I was finally released from her grip--which was surprisingly strong, I have to add.

"_Hisana_--"

"Well, well..." She interjected, quite calmly. "Look who just arrived."

"Wha...?" I rotated my neck to glance behind my shoulder, and immediately my eyes met upon a pair of placid, brown orbs directed at me. My breathing slowed, then halted. I dared not speak a word.

_Oh God no..._

Hisana, on the other hand, swiftly brushed herself into a more presentable appearance, and beamed, "Pleasure to meet you again...King Renji." She then shot a wink at me.

_Shit._

And, for that moment, it felt appropriate for me to curse.

* * *

_I tried to make this chapter shorter, though I'm still a bit unsatisfied with it._

_I don't know...what do you guys think? Are any of you losing interest in 'Traumerei'?_

_Well, please **REVIEW **and do tell me any suggestion y'all might have._

_Thanks for reading, dear audience!_

**_And remember..._'HIMMEL'_ needs an audience!_**

_

* * *

_

**_She Has No Time_**

_You think your days are uneventful  
And no one ever thinks about you  
She goes her own way  
She goes her own way  
You think your days are ordinary  
And no one ever thinks about you  
But we're all the same  
And she can hardly breathe without you_

She says she has no time  
For you now  
She says she has no time

Think about the lonely people  
Then think about the day she found you  
Or lie to yourself  
And see it all dissolve around you

Lonely people tumble downwards  
My heart opens up to you  
When she says


	7. Rose Colored

_**TSUKI:**_

_This chapter is uber-long--be just a warning. I added a lot of back story, plus the beginning is quite slow._

_I believe you will enjoy it, though--it's much happier, and sorry for the long wait._

_On a final note, I would like for you all to stop rushing me to complete the chapters._

_Traumerei is always on my mind; please remind yourselves that I have priorities and a life outside of FF as well._

_So, please, trust me when I say that the chapters will get done. Thank you._

_Now, enjoy the 7th chapter!_

_**ALSO**....Check out my new-ish fanfic **'Himmel'** for angsty/WWII goodness._

**PREFERRED MUSIC:** _Falling For You by Colbie Caillat _

* * *

XXXXXXXXXXX

**'Rose Colored'**

XXXXXXXXXXX

_The house is cold again._

_Hostile winds invade her dimly lit room from every crevice, hole, and crack in the wall, and any puncture or gap in the crudely thatched roof welcomes the blazing gusts as the cold forces its way in._

_She curls up within the comfort of her blankets, though the incessant rustling in the adjacent room prevents much desired sleep from reaching her. It is papa. It must be him._

_The burning in her flesh has been tempered greatly since the night before, when her eyes began to blur and cries for her papa forced him from his slumber to cuddle and cosset her until her poor, inflamed eyes were able to see again. _

_Though, it was evident to both the aging man and his daughter that she was sinking deeper into eternal blindness. In spite of how many times he rose from bed in the night and attended to his little lass, whose petite hands and shrill voice of reduced vitality made him especially eager to safeguard her, the illness was clearly not one to be easily cured._

_It scares her to think about it. She tries not to, but, of course, when the pain seeps through every vein in her body and races throughout her bloodstream, the difficulty in attempting to ignore the bodily throbs and multiple jolts of tremors rise enormously._

_Only coughing will do now. And so she coughs, and wheezes._

_She coughs up a yellow liquid and must swallow it down, only to have it gush from her lips in another painful hack. It feels as though her lungs are dissolving._

_Not much longer, the winter rain arrives, and soft taps are heard above the ceiling._

_These rains have arrived every evening since the start of winter, and, though they are only minor drizzles, they seem to cleanse the air of the musty, rustic stench which was persistently rife among the bustling streets. It has become her lullaby—an escape from the overcrowded buildings, looming smoke billows, and pains burdening her little chest._

_She seems to be mollified by the soft sounds, and by the sweet scent of rainfall._

_At least, for this night alone, sleep would arrive without her flesh boiling under the heat of fever._

* * *

It was a union that shocked separate neighboring countries inhabited by two hostile, quarrelling races—the pious, god-fearing humans of rustic Rukongai, and the demons of the mystifying kingdom of Hueco Mundo.

Because the marriage had been established behind shady doors without the presence of any demonic ambassadors or human diplomats, the betrothal—first whispered of when I was six years of age—was deemed invalid in the eyes of many people, especially in those of other countries who refused to even bear the notion of a human-demon union.

To them, it was an abomination to join two individuals of differing blood into holy matrimony. Even more baffling and breath-pinching to the older reactionaries was the diluting of the regal Abarai blood with a commoner's blood: _my_ blood.

--I suppose they believed King Renji and I would immediately set ourselves off to baby-making. Tch, such fools they are. Let me simply say that the king's royal blood would not be "diluted" for a long time--

And, even I did not recognize the answer as to why and how my father, a pitiable court painter incapable of supporting himself at times, was able to strike a contract with the late king of Hueco Mundo, and ultimately marry me off to one of the most powerful rulers on the globe. I would be trying to unveil the answers for quite a while, though; secrets were well buried beneath the stone walls of Las Noches.

While I was still a school girl residing in my pastoral haven of Rukongai, I knew nothing of the Abarai family.

Documents of demonic rulers were forbidden, after all, and I certainly did not wish to face punishment simply due to my impudent curiosity about the family I would one day be united with. Therefore, I remained ignorant of the royal House of Abarai until many years later when I was actually living within the demonic family's grand palace of Las Noches.

Thanks to a set of textbooks and century-old dossiers, my knowledge of the Abarai lineage and demonic kingdom bloomed brilliantly, although some considerable effort was placed into first learning the classical vernacular of the demons.

So, allow me to continue in sprinkling some history over you all, dear audience, of my red-headed husband.

Renji Abarai was the third child and only son of the late king and a high-ranking marchioness, whose name appeared to have been scraped away from every single file in the palace library.

Regarding this lady, she was noted to have suffered from poor health, and although her first two children were stillborn, Renji's father would not divorce her simply because of her stunning beauty, for she was characterized by long, fiery locks and the glowing radiance tantamount to that of a wild goddess. I was then able to conclude that the Abarai men had, in fact, an almost embarrassing predilection towards beautiful women.

This marchioness apparently committed some sort of treason, which would explain the blackening-out of her name from every single document. I never viewed a portrait of her, and never will; the only lasting image of this former queen lingers in the memory of her sole offspring. And, for some time, I found it impossible to ask King Renji about his mother without receiving cold glares and a brush of the shoulder.

Although his mother's mysterious abdication spawned widespread indignation, King Renji's birth a few years earlier was received with pure joy from the Hueco Mundo people who had long been praying for a male heir. Historians scribbled down descriptions of eager noblemen and foreign ministers who all trekked over to see the handsome baby prince lying in his gold-encrusted cradle, with the promise of everlasting wealth, power, and glory encompassing his tiny head.

My husband's birth had captivated the world, albeit it both enraged and frightened the more pious humans of my native country. As he grew taller and sturdier, King Renji continued to entrance his loyal subjects; in him, the coveted Abarai beauty had fully blossomed. He reached a looming height of over six feet, graced with the scarlet locks and glowing, brunette eyes of his beautiful mother, with broad, robust shoulders, and gleaming olive skin that was considered extrinsic, yet exotic in demonic traditions.

Immersed in both privilege and responsibility, King Renji's father swept into Hueco Mundo hundreds of tutors and professional instructors to mold his son into the next great sovereign of the land.

However stringent the king may have been towards his son, King Renji nevertheless experienced healthy growth in a bright, and overgenerous atmosphere where he was encouraged to read and write in classical Greek and Latin, converse eloquently in the Oriental languages, develop an urbane rhetoric equivalent to that of past kings, establish both respect and admiration for law and politics, and become the quintessence of all the cherished ideals of demonic culture.

The towering pressure of being the direct Abarai heir failed to fluster the young king, though, and he occupied himself with the daily pleasures of sword fighting, especially with the imperial soldiers stationed at Las Noches, who all pledged their lives to the glory and honor of the future king.

He was simply perfect; the most perfect man I would ever come to know.

And, in all sincerity, I tell you that my one wish, after I grew to admire then love him exponentially, was to have him love me as much as he had loved Lady Hinamori.

If only he could embrace me as his loving wife and not as some petty, apathetic consort raised in the stagnant muck of human society, I would be happy. Yes, as I have stated before, perfection oozed from his every pore once I noticed the kind of man King Renji truly was, and if there was _any_ fault, it was that he harbored a particular weakness for deceased women while ignoring the living, breathing one by his side.

In this case, _I_ was the one in front of him, still sitting on a wheelchair in the balmy heat, with my pregnant sister grinning almost laughingly, and a fraction of my body missing.

So, dear audience, why not allow us to continue?

* * *

With a softly performed obeisance, Hisana dabbed her beaming lips with a handkerchief, and slowly retreated from me, whispering, "Good luck, little sister," before completely withdrawing herself from the king's presence.

But while she merrily sauntered off into the halls of the palace, I cursed at her bitterly under my breath. Never in my life had I felt such fear and embarrassment, and I desperately wanted to leave, yet King Renji's mere stare kept me anchored to the balcony. For about a full minute, we continued to stare at one another, with an occasional glimpse at the birds fluttering above or a turn of the head. We did not remain in sedate position for long, though, and King Renji grabbed a chair to set beside me.

He settled down, his head lowered and elbows rested on his thighs. The glowing radiance emitted from his flowing hair—one of my favorite traits about him—distracted me for a minute.

Despite all the ordeals and emotional torment he put me through, King Renji was still the most handsome man I had ever seen. His fiery locks, looming stature, and russet orbs outshined both the piercing sapphire gaze of Grimmjow and Ichigo's boyishly charming complexion.

--Pardon me if I sound like some kind of bratty whore who's overtly obsessed with physical features, but I simply cannot help myself—

Had King Renji not abruptly lifted his eyes to look at me, I would have stared at and studied the contours of his silken, crimson locks for an eternity. But, alas, he did eventually break the silence, and, for the first time in a long while, spoke to me. "How is the pain?"

I stared at him, and exhaled softly. "Not too bad," I replied. "Recent surgery has been quite helpful."

"I see."

It was then that I noticed King Renji do something very uncharacteristic of him—or so I thought; he scratched his head.

You see, up until then, I believed King Renji to be this sophisticated, aloof chunk of glacier just like all of his other male ancestors who were distinguished for their biting austerity. It would be revealed in time that he, in fact, is not a chip off the old ice block, especially in terms of character.

"King Renji," I spoke up, seeing him uncomfortably tilt his head again. "Did my sister persuade you to come see me?"

He did not raise his eyes, as if avoiding my gaze, but nevertheless answered, "Yes." He sighed. "Mistress Kuchiki bid me to visit you, even after I refused."

"I apologize," I said. "Hisana has a way with words that is almost spell-binding. I did not mean for her to be so rude as to force you here with me."

"My decision to come here was not forced. I was going to…" He paused and peered up at me, almost innocently. "…see you eventually. Mistress Hisana simply, you know…got the job done quicker." He rubbed the tip of his nose.

"Oh, then…my King."

"Yes?"

"I am sorry for making this so uncomfortable. You may leave if you wish."

"I will not leave," he replied. "Look here, Rukia…"

"Yes?"

King Renji shifted in his seat some more, before finally saying, "I'm sorry."

I swallowed down my gasp and stared straight at him as he fixed the ruffles on his white shirt, as if to conceal his flustered expression while wiping all of the embarrassment off his body.

"Mm, my King—"

"Listen, let's just leave all of this behind us, alright?"

"…You mean…"

"Yes," he stood up from the chair, restless. "I mean let us forget about our quarrels and just do our duty. You're obviously eager to move on just as much as I want to move forward. Considering the assault on my palace and all of this chaos that has emerged, the last thing I want to deal with is an argument with my wife. I take back what I said to you three days ago; you are no longer isolated from the Abarai family."

"I…" I tried to speak, feeling a lump develop in the base of my throat. "…I am no longer a divorcee? So, I will not be removed from the castle and sent back home?"

"…No," He scratched his head a second time. "I wouldn't do that, not to you. And, besides…"

"What is it, sir?"

"You…were never a divorcee." King Renji began to pace around the garden, though still staying within the proximity of my wheelchair. "I couldn't do it; I have to admit that I couldn't. A divorce would be disastrous for both you and me. I would lose the peace between Rukongai and my own country while your reputation would be forever blemished. I may be described as a brash man, but I am not impudent enough to toss you aside and further anger your kind."

"But, what about all of those things you said to me—"

"I was brash, Rukia, and I am sorry." He said, his voice gradually becoming louder. "I admit that I am still very young for someone of my blood, and my boldness will at times stir up problems. Look, you discarding the portrait of Miss Hinamori did indeed irritate me, but I can understand your envy--"

"Please, no." I raised my hand slightly. "Don't, my King. Not her again."

"Does her name make you that uncomfortable?"

"It does," I whispered bitterly. "You have no idea how…how _jealous_ I am of her. You don't understand how much it hurt me when you claimed her as the better woman."

King Renji sighed, "It was a fit of rage, nothing more."

"No, you meant it. And it made me feel horrible—that even in death she could claim victory over me." I paused and peered up at his face.

He looked pained, and I immediately knew what he was thinking: it would indeed be difficult to accept my full forgiveness. "I know you intended to marry her as a boy, even though you were engaged to me. She was your everything, and I was still a girl unknown to you in a foreign country where the people were governed only by their superstitions and hatred. I know that there is absolutely no way for me to compare with her. She is royalty herself, and, though my mother had claim to grandfather's wealth, now that she is dead I am only a poor commoner's daughter."

"Rukia," he interjected. "Please don't talk down about yourself like that."

"It's true, is it not? I am in no way worthy of you or governance over Hueco Mundo."

"Rukia, you..."

"You married me because I was beautiful, and not because of anything I accomplished by myself. And such a fool I was to have thought that you would place me on the same pedestal that Lady Hinamori still stands upon. I thought that, even though I was not of high birth, I would be able to prove myself to you and your people once you were able to know what kind of woman I truly am. But I failed to so many times. And now you come here to reconcile only because you don't want any more trouble from me."

He continued to walk back and forth, unable to face me. "Rukia, for god's sake, what do you want?"

"I want a second chance."

"I am giving you a second chance."

"I want you to mean what you say, King Renji," I gripped the arm of my chair. "Don't shun me anymore, and don't view me as just a wife, or just a queen. Allow yourself to see me as who I am."

"I will--"

"You say that, but I know you...you..."

"What is it?" His voice was trembling.

"You cannot adore a woman who has lost her arm and is plagued by burns. How can you still treat me so when I will never be as beautiful as I was before?"

"You underestimate me, dear Rukia. You are as lovely as you were on our wedding night, when I found you in the wilderness. Although you tried to run from me, your beauty won me over."

"I don't believe it."

"But, isn't this what you want? Reconcilliation?"

"Of course, but how will we continue on if you are not honest with me?"

"What are you saying?"

"I want to know why you will not divorce me, and don't simply repeat what you said before. There must be some other reason as to why you will not leave me. It cannot simply be my beauty, or for the sake of peace. What is it?"

"Rukia..." He sighed and halted his movement. "Rukia..."

"Don't try to slip out of this with sweet talk. I want honesty from you, and not sugar."

"Dear Rukia," He whispered hoarsely. "It is clear that I hurt you deeply, and continued to hurt you after you attempted to gain my forgiveness. I am sorry, love."

"Don't pretend you love me," I cried, angry because he was so tender with me. "You don't. You still want her, and I know that if it were possible, you would trade me over to the devil if it meant that she could be brought back."

"Rukia--"

"Don't call me in such a manner," I barked, though appalled by my own tone. "You know it yourself to be true. I cannot ever compare to her. Fine, so be it. I accept my own flaws as an inferior wife--I am neither modest nor obedient, but I do not want to be seen as an inferior woman."

"You are not--"

"Don't you dare lie to me like a coward anymore. _What is it_? What do you truly think of me, King Renji?"

It then hurt me to see him standing there, enduring one verbal strike after another and without an ounce of anger in his eyes. He would not fight back, and after my voice died down, he slowly moved forward, dropping his hands to his side. "It is true," he said, shaking his head as if embarrassed and trying to keep his words from spilling. "I do love her, even after these years. And, I just....ugh...damn it all."

At that point I noticed a change in his temperament. Instead of being a sophisticated, baronial gentleman--the persona he exhibited on the first few nights in the palace, King Renji began to present himself as a rather...brash and stark man. His voice was no longer smooth, but coarse and loud. His swagger was unrefined, and he displayed with him an air of ruggedness that was not evident to me before.

"What now?" I asked.

"I hate doing this. I hate having to uncover my feelings for the world to see. It's so...pointless and stupid." He swiftly settled down to massage his head. "I usually need some wine, or...or liquor to help me do this, which is why, on the evening of our dinner...I confess it, I drank and drank and continued to drink to ease my distress."

"What," I began. "What are you saying?"

"What do you want to know?" He asked defensively.

"Are you saying that you were scared of me that evening?"

"Not exactly, but, Rukia, you know..." He peered into my eyes. "You make me weak."

I scoffed. "You're just saying that."

"I am not." he quickly argued.

"You are acting oddly, my lord--"

"I suppose that deep within me I knew that it would take some time to get closer to you. I heard you were a bold woman--someone I am not used to; Miss Hinamori was always very timid. I did not want to seem unfavorable in your eyes, so I attempted to play the part of some gentleman. Shame that I got carried away with my drinking, to the point where I was actually intoxicated, which made us both say some regretable things." He sighed. "As of now, Rukia, I do not love you, and you make it difficult for me to love you, but I will admit that I am guilty of driving a wedge between us as well. It will take some time for us to...to become fond of one another. But, I do know that I respect you for your determination and your strength; it simply is not love right now."

"Oh, King Renji," I bit my lip down. His confession was harder to endure than expected. "You still make me so envious of her. So, you honestly do not love me."

"I would be lying if I said I am madly in love with you, correct?"

"You would."

"I am very honest with you now, like you wanted. Ah, well, it's getting darker." King Renji remarked, about to stand up from his seat.

"Wait," I raised my hand to stop him. "Forgive me, my King, forgive me."

"Forgive you for what?"

"I had no right to raise my voice in your presence. I pray you, forgive me for my barefaced effrontery."

"Agh...don't, Rukia." He frowned. "You didn't do anything to upset me. Now, if we have forgiven one another, please excuse me."

"My King!" I cried, ready to lunge out of my chair and throw myself onto him. I forgot about my poor condition in that moment, and would have collapsed onto the cool marble floor had King Renji not caught me in time.

"Ey! Be careful, you're still healing," He said, gripping my arm. "Rukia, stay seated, please."

"I will, I will, just...please, I pray you stay a bit longer."

"I cannot. My advisors are gathering in the hall right now. I have to go."

I involuntarily clutched at his shoulder, and looked into his handsome brown eyes, saying, "Alright, alright. But, tell me this, we have moved on, correct? There shall be no more pointless feuds betwixt us?"

"If you agree to our peace, then yes." He ungripped his hand, and said, "I believe it would do us best not to continue our quarrels."

"Of course I agree to it!"

"That's good, and I thank you for your time." He peered up at the sky, its golden hue fading into the afternoon. "I am glad we could make up for everything, though it should have been done sooner. If you want, I will give you a proper dinner with me once you heal, or...or maybe even a wedding to replace the last unsuccessful one."

"That's too much, my lord. I am not so fastidious as to demand you to spend more money simply to please me. Just being forgiven is enough."

His face flushed--much to my surprise--and he scratched his head, saying, "Ah, well...if you insist, Rukia."

"I do insist that you forget about the wedding. I never liked weddings anyway." I smiled up at him, so thankful for the peace that was finally established. Taking his hand, I kissed it and whispered, as he pulled away, "Renji..."

"Yes?"

"Tell me," I looked into his gaze. "...when will you fall in love with me?"

Without answering, he chuckled and tilted his head. Before I moved my lips to speak, he said, "You really are pushing me into a corner, having me say the balmiest things."

I did not reply, and smiled sheepishly.

"Well, I don't know. I don't even know if I can think about that right now. But, if it will help you sleep, then I say that I _will _fall in love with you--after these days, months, and years pass by, it will happen. Well, Rukia," he stood up. "...I must leave now. If you'll excuse me..."

"Absolutely." I replied, watching him walk out of the garden, but glancing back at me before disappearing into the palace.

When he was gone, I held up my hand to my bosom, and peered down at the wedding ring which graced my finger. I took some time to study the diamond fastened to the golden band. And, why not? I had finally been granted what I wanted and worked for. 'Twas a time to be appreciative.

And, like the sweet sense of freedom--freedom from the shackles of guilt that plagued me for such an torturous amount of time--the diamond shimmered beautifully. For the first time in a long, _long_ time, I felt the cleansing rain of happiness showered upon me. It had been so long since I sensed that pleasure!

For that while, I was genuinely grateful, and so very joyous. Perhaps, I thought cheerily, my sister should visit me more often.

* * *

_She has finally left her wintry hell with papa, though they must come back. _

_Bells jingle as the vehicle moves awkwardly over the coarse and jagged terrain. It jingles and the sounds keep her from sleeping, but papa says that it keeps bad spirits from taking her. _

_But, honestly, what spirit would take a girl already deemed ready for the grave? She has turned into a skeleton, with skin as pale as snow, and eyes sunken without a hint of liveliness. She might as well be a corpse, the poor lass._

_The unfortunate lass coughs and wheezes as papa holds her, trying to keep her warm under the blankets, yet she continues to shiver. While she trembles uncontrollably, papa sings to her very softly, and though his voice conveys warmth, it does very little good. She is still cold. _

_With a hacking cough, the girl whispers, "Father..."_

_"Yes, love?" He answers._

_"When will we get off this horrible cart and stop?"_

_"Soon, go back to sleep."_

_"I can't. My eyes burn, and I am so very cold."_

_"I'm sorry, love. Try to be strong, please. We'll be stopping soon."_

_"I want to go home."_

_"I know," he answers somberly. "I know, and we will. Shush and rest for now, dear."_

_She moves a bit under the blankets while still in his embrace. The bells jingle, the winds howl and scrape the land unforgivingly as she continues to quiver. Home, she thinks to herself, is so far away now._

* * *

As Grimmjow had stated, the royal guards did indeed arrive at the palace in due time.

I did not expect, however, for a grand parade to take place. It seemed that once those decorated men of war appeared at the gates of Las Noches one frigid dawn after my sister departed, all of the court ladies raced out of their beds and swarmed at the entrance to greet the guards.

The whole of Las Noches was abuzz with mirth, and although many remained shaken up by the disaster a few days earlier, laughter and gaiety flooded the entire palace as the servants rushed about to tend to the uniformed soldiers. Yumichika, of course, was one to join the merriment, especially with all of those handsome men around.

He even had the audacity to drag me out of bed, and demanded that I dress myself into a more presentable manner, for it would be the first time the guards lay eyes on their queen.

I was excited, though anxious at the same time. What would they think of me as their human queen, with a missing arm and burns all over her chest? Oh, it bothered me to no end as I sat on my bed, with the servants slipping on my skirts and adorning my hair.

Yumichika, on the other hand, was overwhelmed with pure excitement, and giddily clapped while pressuring me to hurry--much to the suprise of the other servants who would never dare to speak so harshly to their queen.

"Oh, I cannot continue to wait," He giggled. "This is so exciting. Ah, there has never been a more handsome group of men. Just you wait, Queen Rukia. You will see why I go insane this time of year."

"Hm," I answered placidly, still sluggish and yearning for more sleep. "So they are here for the pupose of strengthing security, correct?"

"Yep," Yachiru chirped while slipping on my shoe. "We can't have you losing your other arm, you know. Hueco Mundo's royal guards are one of the best in the world, mostly because my daddy's one of the commanders."

"Oh?" I remarked, looking down at the pink haired girl. "And who is your father?"

"Adoptive father," Yumichika interrupted. "He's a freakishly tall and muscular man...not all that attractive. Not like the others who are absolutely gorgeous--OUCH!"

The bob-haired man flinched and fell to the floor after being pounded on the head by a flying object. I looked over and saw Yachiru fuming, the other servants appalled by the chaos in my bedroom.

"Don't you dare insult daddy, you ugly pig!" Yachiru shrieked, stomping her foot. "I'll have your pretty ass horse-whipped, you feathered slut!"

"Yachiru--" I quickly interjected, until Yumichika began to scream.

"How dare you hit me, you hussy! And then call me ugly--oh, I'll beat you--!"

"Enough."

I gasped slightly as the servants parted from the door, and turned my head to see that there stood, donned in his casual white shirt and black trousers, with flaming hair tied in a loose ponytail, King Renji himself.

The servants quickly tilted their heads in reverence to the king, and he bid them to leave with a wave of the hand. Yumichika straightened himself, and sauntered out of the room with Yachiru following him. Soon, the King was left with me alone.

I curtsied, and said, "Good morning."

"Good morning, Rukia, how are you feeling today?"

"Much better," I smiled pleasantly. "Although, I do not see the point in having my head so heavy with decorations."

"Ah, but you look outrageously beautiful." King Renji remarked with a mischeivous grin. "You'll have my men equally captivated, and then they'll all pledge allegiance to you and not me."

I couldn't help but chuckle at his words, and when he noticed, asked, "What is it, Rukia? Do I make you laugh so easily?"

"Oh, it's simply your more childish qualities, my King. I am glad to know that my husband is not a pile of frozen ice like you presented on our first evening together."

"Ah, I could not keep that facade for too long no matter how much wine I drank."

It amazed me when he commented on his weakness for liquor so flippantly, but I wondered if demons could handle more alcohol than humans were able to. Nevertheless, I smiled, placed my hand upon his arm, and said, "You are fine as you are now. I don't think I could embrace a block of ice comfortably."

"Hah, Rukia you..." He then took his hand and traced my skin from ear to neck, very gently, as if touching a brittle snowflake. Although I was first surprised by the contact--he had never touched me in such a manner before--I said nothing, and did not move.

I simply breathed and asked, "Is there something wrong, my King?"

"Not at all, Rukia," he replied, smiling with rosy blushes forming on his cheeks. "It's just that...I've never seen you up close like this before."

"Oh, I am flattered. But, my King," I reached for his wandering hand and held it. "You must behave yourself, please."

"Sorry, I am not accompanied by women too often," he said to me, blushing. "But, you know it bothers me to no end that you are still so uncomfortable around me."

"No, Renji," I whispered. "Be patient with me. I am so very tired right now, and very anxious--I wonder how your guards will recieve me."

"Ah, don't worry, Rukia. They will love you."

"Truly?"

"Yes. My men will immediately pledge loyalty to you once they set eyes upon you. And, don't worry anymore about the assassins out there; the guards will gladly throw their lives to protect you."

"My lord," I peered up at him with a hint of somber on my face. "...that makes me feel so unpleasant. I cannot feel too good when I know that so many lives may be sacrificed to protect me."

"What..." He looked puzzled. "What do you mean? Are you saying that you are not worthy of protection?"

"It's just that I hate the idea of using so many people as a safeguard for me. Oh, and then considering all the trouble I've caused..."

"Rukia," King Renji interrupted, and clutched at my shoulders, quite roughly, almost to the point of pain. "Listen to me, don't linger on such things now. That's all in the past, and do not talk down about yourself in that way. You are their queen, and their biggest duty is to protect you. Don't give a damn about those people who tried to destroy you, or what happened. Yes?"

"Yes...I understand," I exhaled, feeling his clutch soften. "Sorry. I get uptight too easily. It was how I was raised. I've never been around such grandeur, so even to this day I feel that I am alien to the palace."

"But you belong here, Rukia." He replied, taking my hand. "And, in time, everyone will love you--including me."

I smiled as he led me out of my chambers and into the main hall of the palace, everything decorated and brimming with liveliness, unlike on the first day I saw it. There was not a single area of the floor uncovered and without a group of idle, chattering courtiers. My maids ran about, and court ladies giggled behind their lace fans while eyeing certain uniformed men who were being warmly welcomed by the king's crowd of advisors.

No one noticed me at first until the king and I began to descend the stairs. Almost immediately, everyone bowed their heads to us.

Once we reached the floor, I noticed Grimmjow ambling towards me with a smile gracing his lips. He tilted his head, then said, "Hello, Queen Rukia, and King Renji. I am glad to see that you are in good health; we have missed you."

"Yes, thank you."

He raised himself up. "My guards have arrived, and they have been anxious to finally meet you."

King Renji walked me towards the group of men, around nine guards gathered near the base of the stairs. I gasped silently as my eyes traveled upwards to see an immensely large man, much taller than King Renji, with dark, spiky hair adorned with small bells, and wearing a black eye-patch. He was covered in scars, from head downwards, and would have frightened me had he not been donned in a handsome black uniform and carrying pink-haired, cherubic Yachiru on his shoulder.

The little maid caught sight of me, and waved effervescently. "Rukia-sama!" she chirped.

"This is Zaraki Kenpachi, my Queen," Grimmjow stated, taking me forward. "He is one of the dual commanders, adjacent to me. Then, Madarame Ikkaku, his lieutenant; Shuuhei Hisagi, second lieutenant, and Soi Fon as captain."

Three individuals emerged to pay obeisance to me: one was without hair, marked with red paint around his eyes and wielding an intimidating scowl on his face, though his actions exhibited the utmost respect for both me and the king. Next to him stood a handsome young man with short black hair and a plain '69' tattooed on his cheek. Last was a slim, plainly dressed girl, seeming much too delicate and young for her work, though she carried with her a domineering aura of superiority.

"The rest," Grimmjow said to me, "are able men whom I have called over to protect you. From now on, these guards will be stationed here for your protection. Do not hesitate to call on them for aid, Rukia-sama."

"Yes, thank you." I then faced the guards. "And thank you for coming. You must all be exhausted from traveling for so long; would you like to rest?"

"Negative," the towering commander said, stepping forward with his arms crossed and a sadistic grin on his crude face. "Being away from the desert is enough rest. We must do what we are expected to do and find your assassin, my Queen."

"Zaraki-san is correct, Queen Rukia," the captain spoke up. "You are kind to offer, but we cannot rest until our investigation is closed."

I lowered my head, and replied, "Yes, of course. You all may do as you please. But, I am not one seeking to sap too much energy from you. I thank you for your work in the country-side, and I pray you all will not regard me as an uninviting host."

"My Queen," Grimmjow began. "You are too kind. My guards are already overjoyed to have the privilege of meeting you in person."

"Oh, and I am so honored to finally meet all of you. Truly, I am--"

"Commander!"

I then stopped, hearing the pounding sounds of footsteps approaching me. The courtiers and servants--everyone--turned their heads to the source of the sudden noise: a blonde, uniformed man running towards Grimmjow, panting.

"Commander!" He cried. "Commander, my apologies, but--"

"Izuru Kira," Grimmjow growled. "Your manners are terrible. Can you not see we are in the King and Queen's presence?"

"I am so deeply sorry," the man said, and faced me. "Queen Rukia, my King, I am sorry--"

"What's going on?" Renji demanded.

The blonde man tilted his head, and said, "I did not intend to interrupt, and I tried my best not to. But, there is a lunatic out on the palace entrance."

"Drive him away," Kenpachi replied coldly. "We are busy; get out and throw him out into the desert."

"The guards tried to, but he attacked one of them, and now he along with the guard are wounded."

"What do you mean one of our guards were attacked!?" Grimmjow angrily exclaimed. "Are you so feeble that you cannot even drive away some deranged beggar?"

"But...but, this transgressor is no simple commoner--why, he was able to sneak past the palace's first line of security," his eyes widened, and he stammered. "This man is a foreign nobleman, and I believe him to be dangerous. Our-our guards are trying to restrain him right now..."

His sudden remark elicited gasps from everyone in the hall, and I froze, unable to process this. I simply did not understand what was happening.

"How dare you," Grimmjow hissed. "Run into the palace like a delinquent and interrupt our meeting with the king and queen over such inane matters. Are you seeking punishment, Kira--"

"Alright, alright, enough..." King Renji quickly held his hand up, immediately quieting him, and stepped forward to ask, "What is his name, Kira?"

"His name..."

"What is this foreigner's name?" King Renji asked again.

"His name," Kira gasped, and looked into my curious, yet bewildered eyes. "...his name is Mayuri Kurotsuchi."

* * *

_Now, I realize that some of you may be curious about the title for this chapter, and I am glad to explain it. Let me make it clear thar I did not pull it out of my ass, rather, the term "rose-colored" is derived from "rose-colored glasses" which is a synonym for optimism--you know, because this chapter was slightly happier..._

_...at least in my opinion._

_So, who is this Mayuri fellow? Is he evil or good in the story? What do you guys think?_

_And what exactly are those italicized, third person POV excerpts supposed to be about?_

_I'd love to know what you guys think._

_Anyway, thanks so much for reading!_

_Once again, please **review**!_

* * *

**_Falling For You_**

_I don't know but  
I think I maybe  
Fallin' for you  
Dropping so quickly  
Maybe I should  
Keep this to myself  
Waiting 'til I  
Know you better_

_I am trying  
Not to tell you  
But I want to  
I'm scared of what you'll say  
So I'm hiding what I'm feeling  
But I'm tired of  
Holding this inside my head_

_I've been spending all my time  
Just thinking about ya  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm fallin' for you  
I've been waiting all my life  
and now I found ya  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm fallin' for you  
I'm fallin' for you_


End file.
